Be forewarned. This is passionate and dramatic and so very post-pardom. I can’t seem to get out of this stage of life.
It dawned on me Sunday that I would have more babies out of my body. I am going to be one of those women. (He is pulling this on me slowly, or I would have bucked from the get go.) This is not what I asked for. It’s just how it is, how I think for now God has chosen to show Himself to me. I crumbled under the thought. In fact, I’m walking around now in a bit of shock.
Red Rover, Red Rover, send sacrifice right over, huh? This is not a post about being a martyr. No, it’s about humility, how we can see the very image of God on our faces and how His seed comes into us and how He births us and carries us.
Isaac asked me this week, “Why is there only one God?.” and I told him that there is no room for another.
Suddenly in me is faith and a new thought with it. I can be filled to the capacity of Christ. I am meant to do as He did. I was made for this.
A few Sundays ago we dedicated Ian to the LORD with our church family. We prayed Ephesians 3:14-19, ending in “know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” I believe that verse for my baby, but in this grown-up body, my achy hips, a tendency toward sensuality and image building, with a quickness to yell and a hurried walk along the edge of anxiety’s pit, I have never honestly believed that I could house the nature of God. He seems much too big for that.
I want to add to Ian’s dedication verses with vv. 20 & 21, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.”
I don’t know how to imagine it, and I don’t know what to ask, but I do believe that His fullness can empower me to be a mother of many who bear His name. Praise Him in this disheveled house!