Capacity: One


Be forewarned. This is passionate and dramatic and so very post-pardom. I can’t seem to get out of this stage of life.

It dawned on me Sunday that I would have more babies out of my body. I am going to be one of those women. (He is pulling this on me slowly, or I would have bucked from the get go.) This is not what I asked for. It’s just how it is, how I think for now God has chosen to show Himself to me. I crumbled under the thought. In fact, I’m walking around now in a bit of shock.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send sacrifice right over, huh? This is not a post about being a martyr. No, it’s about humility, how we can see the very image of God on our faces and how His seed comes into us and how He births us and carries us.

Isaac asked me this week, “Why is there only one God?.” and I told him that there is no room for another.

Suddenly in me is faith and a new thought with it. I can be filled to the capacity of Christ. I am meant to do as He did. I was made for this.

A few Sundays ago we dedicated Ian to the LORD with our church family. We prayed Ephesians 3:14-19, ending in “know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” I believe that verse for my baby, but in this grown-up body, my achy hips, a tendency toward sensuality and image building, with a quickness to yell and a hurried walk along the edge of anxiety’s pit, I have never honestly believed that I could house the nature of God. He seems much too big for that.

I want to add to Ian’s dedication verses with vv. 20 & 21, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.”

I don’t know how to imagine it, and I don’t know what to ask, but I do believe that His fullness can empower me to be a mother of many who bear His name. Praise Him in this disheveled house!

amberhaines
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10 Comments

Sarah
Reply February 26, 2008

This means we've got a good shot of finally having babies at the same time...such a happy thought :)

Amber
Reply February 26, 2008

Yes, very happy. If they happen to be girls, let's give them twinsy names.

Brooke
Reply February 27, 2008

Even more lovely. How I miss your spiritual strength out here. Thank God (and that's sincere!) for computer communication. That you can speak that powerfully to me via computer screen says something about the gift(s) God has filled you with.

The Clarks
Reply February 27, 2008

you are so encouraging! I love reading your blogs. I feel shallow now that I was about to blog at how happy the pregnancy test I just took was negative. :)

Amber
Reply February 27, 2008

Oh friend, are you now joining my pee-stick club? I am president of pee-stickaholics. Let me know if you need to join.

Sarah
Reply February 27, 2008

I think I might have to join too. I can't count the number of times I've made the alarm go off at Wal-Mart b/c I didn't rub the test box over the star in the self checkout line.
I love the twinsy name idea...if their names start with the same letter, they'll have the same monogram. Psycho? Perhaps. But fun.

Amber
Reply February 27, 2008

Oh, and if one has a boy and one a girl, let's still give them same initials so when they marry, the girl can keep all her monogrammed stuff.

Ok, now that was a bit over the top.

Amber
Reply February 27, 2008

Shouldn't someone run this by me first?

Seth

Amber
Reply February 28, 2008

... and the twins girls we adopt from Ethiopia.

Sarah
Reply February 28, 2008

I love it! Especially the ethiopian girl part.
Boys just don't understand the importance of monograms :)

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