There is a tinge of bitter in the sweet stuff here. I cried out loud this morning as I realized that my computer promptly erased pictures I had downloaded. Some were the most gorgeous pictures of Ian that I took because I have so few of him compared to the other boys. The light was perfect on his blue terry pajamas, and the camera had focused clearly on his puffy morning lips. I had propped him up, and he giggled as he fell forward onto his hands. He had control of his body, and he displayed his bashful, meek smile in every frame. I was proud, and he cooed to my mother-speak.
Some were of Isaac swinging, leaning far back, staring at the sky, and smiling a gracious smile. It didn’t belong to me, that smile. I sneaked it from the kitchen, and it made me want to join him, so I went out to take a series of close-ups. There may have been twenty shots of his goofy expressions. We laughed so hard, and when I turned around to go back in, he said, “Mama, that was my favorite part of today.”
Last night, I let them run out in the rain, something Nanny lets them do. Learning to let them has been a great joy. It was Jude’s first time, so he squealed and ran in circles, stopping at the gutter to catch the roof-sludge. My favorite pictures were of him clapping for the rain.
I will upload some of the Happy Things that I got to keep from my camera when I figure out how to get rid of some of the stuff crowding my computer’s brain. The others are on my invisible heart-screen, especially now that I recorded them here.