Rich and Skinny


This week I’ve had the creepies under my skin. If you have kept up with me at all this week, you may have noticed a little moodiness. Please forgive me if you came here for encouragement – though I probably made you feel better about yourself. Sometimes it’s good to see other people act like people. I’m human all over myself – inside and out. 
People aggravate me. Sometimes my kids get on my nerves; actually, they do that a lot. Sometimes I get on my own nerves. Worst of all, I pine for Seth when he isn’t home, and this week when he walked in the door from very hard and long days of work, I morphed into some misunderstood, clawing grunt. I’ve been awful. I wrote the word dogpoo in my blog yesterday. I have pitched a royal fit about not taking a vacation. 
I haven’t wanted to serve the people in this house anymore. 
I am not content. 
Here’s the Worst Confession of All …
I went to a boutique shop in the area to look at shirt styles so I could purchase something similar at TJ Maxx, and for some reason, I put on a pair of blue jeans.  These jeans pick up the part of my rear that has somehow fallen into my legs. They set everything straight and cover every square inch of my shapeliest part.
Price Tag? $200
Name Brand? Rich & Skinny
Rich and Skinny! Whether we say it or not, we do just want to be rich and skinny – it’s the American Dream. But I am not rich (not like that), and my booty is a far cry from skinny. And if I were rich, and if I were skinny, and I had those blue jeans, I think I would hate myself. I’m still like a little girl dog-earring every single page of the Sears Christmas Catalog – all the while knowing that Francis, down the road, had worn the same shoes for 3 years, and her toes had grown 2 inches out the end of them.
Something’s wrong with my world. We work, and we are tired, so we consider ourselves deserving. 
I’m not against enjoying material things. Come around us, and you’d know. We take a fine liking to food and drink and the feel of fabric and the cast from certain light bulbs. But what if we all did without (like, say for example, Jesus)? Wouldn’t the world be a completely different place if American Christians gave up certain blue jeans? There is no room for judgement. We don’t have time or energy for that. We truly can’t afford to point fingers. You can wear your Rich and Skinny jeans every day of the week, and I’ll still notice them and want them. I’m just saying.
I just don’t need to pretend anymore. I know what I deserve.
If you’ve ever had a baby, you know the feeling of a great weight passing –  and taking on such a relief that you are forever changed – simply by bearing a weight and, in one moment, being delivered from it.
If I think to do it, I can recall a moment, where I was sitting on a bed in a dorm room, and I had been so heavy that I could have dropped a ripping hole down through the middle of the earth, and then I believed that there must really be such a thing as grace or I would die. And I took Jesus to mean what He said. And then I was weightless. I could have floated out the window and been caught up in the wind.
It’s a little silly, but in the switch of a mind and a breath in the spirit, I became rich, and I became skinny.
When people congratulate and pat my back, when I have worked until I cry, when I go unnoticed, when I am perceived rich or skinny, I can’t press Snooze on my memory. I don’t deserve to smell a sweet candle or to watch a good movie anymore than Francis deserved new shoes or any more than the hungry deserve a bite of food. I do not deserve to sell my big-A house any more than the addicted, homeless man deserves a shelter. 
Let’s change.

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amberhaines
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11 Comments

windyday
Reply June 6, 2008

Love it...It's amazing the things we can find in our hearts and minds when we stop to pay attention. Love your heart! We all have yuck in us and it is good to see it for what it is and to see HIM expose it and meet us with HIS grace.

Anonymous
Reply June 6, 2008

I needed to read that. Love you. ERIN

brooke
Reply June 6, 2008

I needed it, too. Am headed off to Auction Napa Valley, also known as the epicenter of rich and skinny. The thing is, I went to a highbrow garden party where they auctioned off million dollar vacations last night and I drank wines I could never feel right in my soul about actually purchasing (but have had no problem drinking over the past six months)...and, the first thing I did when I got home was take my shoes off and walk barefoot in the vineyards in the middle of the night. Not the wisest thing to do in June (rattlesnakes like to sleep in the vines) but the contrast of the manicured garden party with the actual earth and moon and stars was so stunning.

There were a million stars. I didn't deserve any of them. God gave them to me anyway.

Jordan and Mandy Eoff
Reply June 6, 2008

i needed to read this....i spent the day with my "rich" friend yesterday. i heard about the 5,000 sq. foot house they're building, the vacation coming up to St. John, all the great flowers she just planted in their 8 beds.
i was having a pity party.
Jesus is better--He's our treasure.
Let's live like it!
love you
keep blogging!

Craig & Cindy
Reply June 6, 2008

Amber, you're post was so beautiful and poignant that it made me want to cry while I sit here at work stalking blogs instead of finding out where to send this blasted immigration application, which isn't really blasted because it's for someone else's life.

Inner conflicts be damned.

Thanks for articulating so well the feeling that I have had too - many times, in fact.

Cindy

Craig & Cindy
Reply June 6, 2008

Amber, you're post was so beautiful and poignant that it made me want to cry while I sit here at work stalking blogs instead of finding out where to send this blasted immigration application, which isn't really blasted because it's for someone else's life.

Inner conflicts be damned.

Thanks for articulating so well the feeling that I have had too - many times, in fact.

Cindy

Amber
Reply June 6, 2008

I love y'all.

Anonymous
Reply June 6, 2008

Amen sisters. --Ashley Shaver

Anonymous
Reply June 7, 2008

i'm so convicted!!!!! you know when you here a sermon that was just for you...well, this was just for me. i love you -b

Kimberly
Reply June 10, 2008

finally catching up on my reading... and this is fabulous!

(I have my size 12 Gap jeans and favorite "Irish Girl" t-shirt hanging behind my bedroom door... hoping it will motivate me to exercise or skip the fries... it doesn't... I just put on something cute that fits instead...)

Marybeth
Reply August 4, 2011

Indeed, let's change...

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