What the Fudge!


If you are living with your Mama, and you go home and ask her “how the hell are you,” and she were a Mama that didn’t like cussing, then saying h-e-double-hockey-sticks would be a sin because you would be disrespecting your Mama. 
That being said, here are my questions: Why do we get our feelings hurt so badly over people who cuss? What is the heart issue here? Can we agree, for the sake of those who do not believe (we Jesusy people), that there is a difference between cussing and cursing? 
When I was little my Tennessee family sang a song that I PROMISE went like this: 
Please don’t smoke
Please don’t smoke
Feed your tobaccer (yes, with an -er) to a billy goat.
Please don’t curse
Please don’t curse
I can’t think of anything that’s worse.
Don’t cuss. Don’t drink. Got that down? Good to go. 
No, I really don’t think a single soul reading this agrees with such nonsense, but …
Most Christians I know really do act this way with their public personas, and if they don’t, they’re afraid of the ones who do. The non-believers in our lives want to throw moldy vegetables at our faces. You know that, right?  And let’s just get over the suffering for Jesus thing. Usually, people with any sense want to be miles and miles away from someone who worries more about letting a bad word slip than about showing even a blink of kindness to the hispanic family down the road. Do we worry more with being caught walking into the liquor store (it’s wine for my spaghetti, I promise!) than we do about the true condition of our hearts when we have to deal with sandpaper people or ugly people or uneducated people? 
Problem is that many of us will say sugar when we really mean sh*t. Okay, yes, you’re right. That’s a bad example because no one wants to hear a potty mouth. Few cuss words don’t bring up the bedroom or the bathroom, and there are only a few people in our lives around whom we can discuss our potty lives. I jest.
Cursing, on the other hand, is wanting bad things to happen to someone else, invoking the devil to scheme against someone, right? It’s plain ol’ wrong to do that. Let’s think, though. Without ever saying a cuss word, I curse people all the time – at least in my thought life. 
I picked up a gorgeous magazine at Walmart, because I was hooked by its cover. It was Christian, colorful, and upper-crust. I didn’t mean to want it. Reading it now, all the white people inside with yachts, gift-wrapping stations, perfect place settings, and quick-answer anecdotes, the staying in hotels or enjoying summer lawns, I am disgusted by its lie; it’s worse than  Hollywood’s version of love. 
Real people who love Jesus are complete screw ups. We have secrets, or at least have had or will, just like the people in this world who don’t believe in Jesus. (Get rid of them, by the way. Secrets will eat your soul.) It is not true to think that if I were doing okay, I would be rich and white and ministering because I invited the poor kids over to swim in my pool. Being rich and white is actually dandy, but it does not a healthy soul make. 
If I do not cuss, it does not mean that I do not curse. If humility is being honest, then we would stop faking okay-ness and start loving each other – loving people and trusting God (as the stranger at last weekend’s wedding spoke to me). 
You’ve got that right! I love my Mama too much to really cuss here. The truth is that it does hurt some folks’ feelings, so loving means not cussing, in those cases. Sorry about that one time on my blog when I said the H-word, Mama.
Awwww, I didn’t even know I had a soapbox, and here I am looking down from one. Shewt. Durn. Son of a Biscuit Eater! Getting down now.

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amberhaines
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6 Comments

Sarah
Reply June 20, 2008

Nathan has sung that song to me a few times (is he dropping a hint?) and thought I was nutso for not ever having heard it before. We'll have to add that one to the list when we have our sing along night.
Does it have motions to it?

Amber
Reply June 20, 2008

I cannot believe that he knows that song. My brother!

Here's one: Who knows Booster Booster Be a Booster! Don't be Grouchy like a Rooster!

What did that even mean and at VBS - no less?

Seth
Reply June 20, 2008

Damn, that was good.

Prairie Chick
Reply June 20, 2008

I smiled all the way through this. Cause I'm a Redneck Jesus Freak who tends to cuss more than she probably ought and doesn't find certain words terribly offensive.... unless I hear them coming from my 3 year old and then I second guess myself. I mean, if your child asks their sunday teacher for help with the *bloody* glue bottle, or tells gramma they "screwed up" their picture... those are moments I wonder if I should be a little more concerned about such matters???

Love your blog, or I guess I should say your brain, as evidenced through your blog. Blessings.

mandie
Reply August 6, 2009

Good word. :)

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