what not to wear


scarf Today I was cute with my scarf tied up neatly at my neck, a perfect contrast of color against the green sweater I had purposefully bought too small. I asked a man at the store to please go fetch me a box of those Back to Nature crackers that have been removed from the shelves. Like before Y2K, I bought 7 boxes of crackers, acting to the salesman as if I buy in such quantities on a regular basis.

My sweater smelled so good from when I spilled a little perfume on myself. I loved it – being out of the house, no one pulling on me. I was smirky.

Several isles down from that moment, I looked down at my gorgeous scarf just to admire it, and there, about two inches from my mouth, sat half a granola bar. The salesman had smiled at me so sweetly, and it wasn’t at my southern charm.

It doesn’t have to be realized while one eats the fuzzy granola bar in the canned meats section. Why didn’t I put on humility before that scarf, before I agreed with the slithering at my ear?

Eve, before she twisted that fruit from the stem, was clothed in humility, all stripped down and walking with God, and as she swallowed the knowledge of how good she was and the knowledge of how bad she could be, humility unfastened from her spirit, an undone sash, and only then did she become naked, desperate for cover.

Pride is hiding in beautiful scarves, the sound of God in the garden and we concerned with fig leaves.
amberhaines
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12 Comments

los cazadores
Reply November 18, 2008

Amber, Amber. Smirky. Humility. I love your writing. I love your inside thoughts put all over your blog for us to read.

My verification letters to comment form the word "consiler"...which is weird b/c I just sent someone a buzzkill smackdown to the anti-immigrant forward they sent me....

Cindy

the hamster
Reply November 18, 2008

damn, woman.

Ashley
Reply November 18, 2008

Glad you're back.

Amber
Reply November 19, 2008

I love consilers

the hamster
Reply November 19, 2008

(does "consilers" mean "folks who agree on something from different angles"? i had to look it up, but even then, i had to scrape together a personified noun from a regular old common noun and an adjective, both referring to the agreement itself, not the agreers. just wondering.)

cherikeas
Reply November 19, 2008

I think you guys are wordsmiths of a different flavor... I just liked the post. Funny and convicting. Never heard of consilers. :p

Anonymous
Reply November 19, 2008

DAMN, girl! i just wanted to type that too. such fun word...! seriously amber you are hilarious and humble all at the same time. when i grow up i want to be just like YOU!
b.robinson
...my favorite saying is "hot damn"
but i can never find the right situation to use it.
...i'm tired...can you tell

Haguewood
Reply November 24, 2008

Amber--I miss you so much and I want to be like you when I grow up too!! Ben and I will be in NWA near Christmas. I would love to see you even for an hour. Love you!!!!

laura
Reply November 29, 2008

I have to admit publicly, I did the same thing this past week. Only rather than yummy granola it was yucky spit up strung all the way down my shirt from my sweet baby tucked tightly in his carrier :) I can smile about it now... wasn't smiling so much then :)

truth
Reply December 2, 2008

Reminds me of when I duct taped my slacks before church one morning. Boy did I feel like I looked great that day and was having a good hair day.

Angela
Reply December 4, 2008

ha!
hey amber,
look what i just read:

"The word amok, as in "running amok," is a Balinese word, describing a battle technique of suddenly going insanely wild against one's enemies in suicidal and bloody hand-to-hand combat; the Europeans were frankly terrified of this practise."

maybe you knew that already, but still. very cool.

Amber
Reply December 5, 2008

I know it, Angela. When I looked it up, I found all the meanings highly appropriate.

When I was little, if we were in a public place, my parents would use their strong voices and tell us not to run a muck - or else.

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