let it shine let it shine all the time


If I’ve eaten one Belgian Chocolate Lambertz cookie in the last few days, I’ve eaten 50, and that’s not a joke. I’m an addict. On top of my near cookie comas that can only be cured by more cookies, I have become one of those moms who makes high pitched grunts when she gets frustrated. (You know, the noises your kids imitate?) Like today when Jude refused to take Mrs. Potato Head’s purse out of his mouth, I put my hands in my hair and shrieked my awful mothercry – that almost yell and full-on plea for a thirty year old brain to poof into my two-year-old’s head. 
When I pray, this is how it goes: “Father you are so good to me; You saved me; You couldn’t be more amazing; did I call Amy back; there are so many dishes in the sink; Get that crayon out of your nose – so help me … excuse me, LORD; oh, yeah, thank You for grace and our food and my husband; my toenails are so tacky; oh look, nobody painted around the top of that ceiling fan …”
You get it, right? My brain is made of marshmallows, and I can hardly control myself. And I know, I know, I’ve been traveling, and discipline is going to kick in any minute. I’m trying. I know the right routine for us. 
We wake between 5 and 5:30 every morning for our quiet times together, or that’s why we’re supposed to get up. It’s the only literal quiet time we have. After days of squinting my eyes and wishing hard to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (dang it!), I read Matthew 5 this morning, and God was so sweet in it with me.
It went something like this: bunch of people … some mountain … blessed are the blah blah blah … earth stinks, heaven’s awesome, don’t lose your flavor, then WHAM!

“And you, like the lamp, must shed light among your fellows, so that, when they see the good you do, they may give praise to your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16
Big fat smile on my face. My babies are my fellows. I love my little fellows. I want to shine all the warm light I can on them, and so I think about what it means for my little light to shine. If shedding light is doing good work, then what are the good works I do before my fellows? 
Today has been brighter. Good works? Not in cookies. Not in television. Not in folding their clothes. But touch their faces and let them show you the imaginary lake and swim in it with them, and you’ll click that lamp on. 

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amberhaines
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6 Comments

TexasNeals
Reply January 7, 2009

oh, that was great amber! thanks!

Mother Letter
Reply January 7, 2009

Today I swam in an imaginary lake of law with my fellows. And we had no cookies... Belgian or otherwise.

Amber
Reply January 7, 2009

Did you feel like whacking them with the nearest lamp?

Christine
Reply January 7, 2009

That was beautful. Thanks! It's good to know that I'm not the only one who prays like a gnat and quite frequently meditates on the state of my pedicure when I should be basking in the presence of the Most High God. Love swimming in that lake w/ my girlies!

Robert and Jennifer
Reply January 10, 2009

Finally some company in the scattered prayer department. Even better falling asleep in the middle. I always like to think God was rocking me to sleep.

Robert and Jennifer
Reply January 10, 2009

and yes I am from Alabama although I don't live there at the moment

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