friday funnies


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Monday morning, 9:30 AM, all is well, the boys gleefully cheep cheeping of imaginary things. In the stillness, I slide into my chair at the kitchen table, which is centrally located so I can see, hear, and smell anything the boys or my dog can do. 

I answer a quick email and hurry up from my seat to do the count. I am constantly counting: one, two, three. (You know. That’s how many I have.) 

One. There’s Ike.

Two. There’s Ian.

Three. There’s Jude completely naked, his torso jutted forward and aimed at The Pet Me animal book, which is soaking wet. In Pee. 

My eyes skim the floor. Each corner of the couch. Both chairs. The toy cars. The plastic pig with large udders. A blanket. All soaking in puddles of pee. 

I yell and run for a towel, and on my return, guess what I saw the dumb dog doing. Guess. 

He is peeing everywhere. Sweet mother of Georgia Brown. In comes Isaac, the one who asks to wash his hands every time he wants to suck his thumb. He waddles through it, and then, Bloody Murder. We’ve got a full-on panic attack because his feet touched pee-pee.We do breathing exercises, and in walks Ian, too.

The time to start worrying about a peeing contest between a boy and his dog is when you start to think you have a centrally located spot, a safe place to stop the head-counting. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be centrally located enough.

(Now. I know it doesn’t seem like I’d giggle at this, but by the grace of God, with wet feet and surround-sound screaming, I did. Sometimes Life is ridiculous. This is why he makes Mamas just a little crazy – so they can laugh at some things without their nerves transforming into weaponry – maybe electrical zappers.)

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The Friday Funnies Guidelines are here. Please share your giggly moments with us. I’m just sick for it, and you’ve got the funnies I need.
Click Mr. Linky to see who’s in or to plug yourself in. High Five …

Don’t feel funny? Well, then surely you feel foody. Head over to Ann Kroeker’s and give her some blog love.

Also, The Mother Letter Project is sending out a new invitation with new incentives.

amberhaines
About me

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12 Comments

It Feels Like Chaos
Reply January 23, 2009

Hi, I'm new here, but the Friday Funnies are such a good idea! There is so much humor in raising kids, and I find when I focus on that rather than the annoyances, my life is much more fun! Thanks for hosting

It Feels Like Chaos’s last blog post..Friday Funnies

laura
Reply January 23, 2009

oh my that is by the grace of God you laughed! I think I would have cried. (and then later laughed at myself for crying)

laura’s last blog post..Sean on family planning…

Erin
Reply January 23, 2009

Amber! Oh my word! That is hilarious!!

Jo@Mylestones
Reply January 23, 2009

Oh, I love Fridays. And I love Funnies. And the combo is irresistible. I decided to embarrass myself this morning on the world wide web. It's possible the lack of sleep lately is clouding my judgment. :-)

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting
Reply January 23, 2009

Hmm, sounds like ya got a future firefighter there, wavin' his hose around ;) Love it! I've so been there!

Susan R
Reply January 23, 2009

We should so NOT get Jude and Harley the Wonder Puppy together until they're both potty trained! laffin Not sure who'd be teaching who what!

Jane Anne
Reply January 23, 2009

Oh my, this post made me smile. There is just something about being the mother of boys... I haven't had this happen but it seems so possible. I have 3 boys. Good to hear you could laugh about it. I imagine you will be retelling that story for a while!

Jane Anne’s last blog post..Friday Flashback: One Sweet Ride

Jennifer
Reply January 23, 2009

Hilarious! I miss you friend. See you soon.

Jennifer’s last blog post..Ice skating, hockey, and mosaics

edie wadsworth
Reply January 23, 2009

Amber,
Sounds way too much like my house most of the time. Gotta watch your step! I love your new blog lay out BTW. Very cheerful and easy to navigate!

edie wadsworth’s last blog post..The Real Enchilada

brittney
Reply January 23, 2009

I found you by (surprise!) the Mother Letter Project from Rocks in My Dryer. I started reading your blog and kept following because you are such an inspiration! And I think my husband is more the theologian than I, but it is such a blessing.:]

PS Your blogspot is where I got the idea for the birthday post for my husband.:]

Desha
Reply January 23, 2009

Hilarious! I don't know what I would have done!

Desha’s last blog post..Friday Funnies

Cheri
Reply June 19, 2009

Having never read your friday funnies, I am eating them up and just about don't want to stop long enough to leave a comment! Crying my eyes out laughing so hard at your peeing contest... what a mama with boys gets to live through!

Cheri’s last blog post..making progress

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