on hearing & humility on the days I have to say NO at least 5,000 times


Most of the time I don’t ask for much more than survival. Give me this day my breath, my brushed teeth, my potty brake in silence. I’ve been rolling out of  bed with my spirit gasping for time, for relationship, and for an affirmative in the presence of God. 

I’ve been taking a wash cloth to yesterday’s mascara and stepping into the hard-working noise of habit. In the whirl of toddler-motherhood, it takes an intentionality that I’ve rarely pursued to not cling to the laws I’ve made for matter, time, space, and sound – to consider the Spirit behind the work I have to do.

I have been too busy to hear God, to tend to that burning bush, when there is no trick to hearing Him except to believe and find a quietness of spirit.

Hands still swipe the inner rim of the toilet. Oatmeal still ends up in our pot of beans. Husbands still get home late from work.

And I have to remember the candle burning in the sanctuary.

If I am in a season of no retreat, and the front has to be strong and endless, then I must find Humility in being lowly enough for a stillness before my Heart-King, a bowed down reverence, my naked spirit-feet warming on a throne-room floor.

amberhaines
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19 Comments

Cindy
Reply February 23, 2009

Amber, that was gorgeous...wiping off yesterday's mascara. Love that.

Cindy’s last blog post..Tagged: Addictions

We are THAT family
Reply February 23, 2009

Beautiful!

I've been there for so many years, I can't remember another normal. I will praise God for the journey.

We are THAT family’s last blog post..Just Send Me Your Therapy Bills

Jessica
Reply February 23, 2009

10 minutes before I sat down and read this.....
sitting at the dining table, 5 week old on my lap, spitup on my shirt, grumbling kindergartener not wanting to homeschool, 4 year old and 2 year old throwing Mardi gras beads that were dug out of the trash with coffee grinds...asking for tattoos....
did i mention I have a tendency to grit my teeth and yell?

Amber, what do I do? I am SO THIRSTY....it is evident by my intense desire to hum my homeschool books across the room and SCREAM!

emily
Reply February 23, 2009

surprise surprise. my soul sister and I wrote about the same thing today. love it. your words are healing.

emily’s last blog post..be more. do less.

BlueCastle
Reply February 23, 2009

Beautiful. A reminder I needed today. Thank you.

BlueCastle’s last blog post..Being Frugal Can Make You Crazy

Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect
Reply February 23, 2009

That is beautiful. A quietness of spirit - I need that so much.

Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect’s last blog post..Carnival Week: Not Me Monday

Jo@Mylestones
Reply February 23, 2009

Thanks for these timely words of encouragement: "To consider the Spirit behind the work I have to do." The words hit me right between the eyes (which haven't seen the likes of mascara in two weeks).

Jo@Mylestones’s last blog post..Even in February

melissa @ the inspired room
Reply February 23, 2009

oh, sweet amber, those days of the little ones seem never ending, until you look back and in a blink of an eye they are over! so many things i thought i needed to accomplish back then, but in hindsight none were really important. fixing the meals, wiping their faces and kissing their cheeks and falling on my face before the Lord each day is about all i should have expected of myself and all God ever expected of me. yes, He was behind all of the moments that mattered and so often i forgot to praise Him in the midst of the chaos.

blessings,
melissa

your post is beautiful.

Megan @ Hold it UP to the Light
Reply February 23, 2009

I'm trying to remember that burning candle, too....I am in the very same place right now. Let us us be washed anew.

Courtney B.
Reply February 23, 2009

Beautiful Words.
Needed to hear it.

Courtney B.’s last blog post..Before The Rain Came

Adventures In Babywearing
Reply February 23, 2009

How do you do it? Amber, thank you.

Steph

Megan@SortaCrunchy
Reply February 23, 2009

Don't. I. Know it.

You've said it much more powerfully than I've ever dreamed of saying it.

the domestic fringe
Reply February 23, 2009

Very nice post. I feel like I needed it today. Thank you.
-FringeGirl

the domestic fringe’s last blog post..Raining From Heaven

ginny
Reply February 23, 2009

spoken straight to my soul. I love it, amber!

happyvalleygirl
Reply February 23, 2009

I had 3 in diapers at one time and I remember feeling guilty that I didn't have as much solitary time to spend with God as I did when I just had one, (not in diapers). I allowed the devil to condemn me. Then one day, in the shower, God spoke to me "Man does not live by bread alone but by every word".......word, singular. The Holy Spirit then reminded me that He understood the season of life that I was in. And that if He chose to, He could feed me for a whole day on one Word from His mouth. It brought me such comfort to know that He understood. And after that, I distinctly remember the times I spent with Him seemed so much more sweet and plentiful.

happyvalleygirl’s last blog post..Great Article for singles from Fire in my Bones by J. Lee Grady

Esther
Reply February 23, 2009

k, this is the third time i've heard this today...maybe it's time to listen. thanks

Esther’s last blog post..black and white

brooke
Reply February 23, 2009

wow! one of your greatest talents is the gift of painting analogy's. when i read your posts i can hear the slowness of your voice, the passion behind each sentence, and your lovely Alabama accent. Thank you for speaking truth to us. i love this post and i LOVE you!!!

Heather of the EO
Reply February 24, 2009

I'm almost feeling too moved to comment. Like I'm not worthy to respond. I guess I've been feeling that way in so many ways. So dry and empty and then guilty because when the quiet FINALLY comes, I throw away the time that could have been spent at the throne on random selfish things that fill me with nothing.

I can't say how much I appreciate your honesty and how you express it.

Heather of the EO’s last blog post..The boy who cried...

susie
Reply February 25, 2009

Thank you. Wish I read this earlier today. But there's always tomorrow, isn't there?

susie’s last blog post..Mom in the Mirror

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