minty freshness: a friday funny


ffLast weekend, we drove to a cabin on a piece of lakeside property to spend a weekend with Seth’s closest college friends – the Fab Four. The four were apparently good at multiplying. After all 19 of us (+ 2 in the oven) rolled in, fell in love all over again, wondered at all the different personalities of the gorgeous children, and stayed up super late rehashing the glory days, we made our camp beds on near concrete mattresses and fell hard to sleep.

At 4:00 AM, Isaac came into my room, shoved me around, and said, “Mama, Jude is not in his bed.” 

Sure enough, he wasn’t in his bed, under his bed, or in another bed. He wasn’t in a closet, in the kitchen, or in the den. 

I practically became insane in a split second.

“Oh Jesus, where is my baby?! LORD! Help me!” I must have been waving my arms in the air.

I ran outside into the biggest sky I’ve seen in years, and I yelled to that ancient sprawling oak tree, “Jude! Jude! Oh, Jesus!”

 I ran inside to Seth’s opening and slamming doors and realize we haven’t yet been upstairs. I make 16 stairs in about 3 steps, and there at the top, to the left, sillouheted in the bathroom doorway was Jude, wide awake with a nasty smile. 

In one hand was Jennifer’s toothbrush and in the other hand was toothpaste, squeezed from the middle, dripping with green, minty slobber. His  hands, arms, and face were smeared with it. “Brush my teeth, Mama!”

I praised God and then quit all that charismatic franting. I washed him and then tucked him into my bed so he wouldn’t end up in the oak tree. My heart pounded for at least thirty minutes, and the entire time, as I tried to keep him quiet for the other bunkers, he would say, repeatedly, “Mama, spicy. Ouch, Mama, toothpaste hot. Spicy, Mama, hot toothpaste.” 

I promise that I even had fresh breath when I got up that morning.

—–

Now, it’s your turn. If you have a funny story, share it with us in the comments. If you’ve written a funny post, grab that sweet little Friday Funnies button in the sidebar, linking to this post, and let’s catch the giggles together. Don’t forget to leave your link in the comments.

Scroll down to Wednesday’s post and leave a comment there, too, to qualify for the drawing for Holley Gerth’s new book, Rain on Me. We’ll draw names from those comments left before midnight tonight.

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18 Comments

Kelly
Reply February 27, 2009

Terrifyingly funny, that story...

My funny today was my realization of my daughter's little fake furrowed brow expression when she thinks she's in trouble or when she's being upset with us. It's not her own - it's us. It's us trying to be serious with her when we're going to totally crack up... They're horribly cute, aren't they?

Jo@Mylestones
Reply February 27, 2009

This is the classic case of an event that can only be laughed about when it is OVER. In the midst of it, it's just crazy panic!

I've got a little crazy panic going on of my own here:
http://mainelymyles.blogspot.com/2009/02/friday-funnies-asessing-your.html

Jo@Mylestones’s last blog post..Can I get a glass of water and an Amen?

Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect
Reply February 27, 2009

Now that we know he's okay, that IS a funny story!

I wasn't feeling much funny this morning, so my flashback is just a flashback. But you better believe I'm going to save my next funny for one of your Fridays!! :)

Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect’s last blog post..Carnival Week: Flashback Friday

Jennifer
Reply February 27, 2009

My toothpaste is still not the same :) He is definitely one of a kind.

BlueCastle
Reply February 27, 2009

That panicky feeling is awful, but the sweet relief that comes when you find your baby - safe and unharmed - is bliss.

Here's my contribution:
http://www.sarahsbluecastle.com/blue_castle/2009/02/funny-for-today.html

BlueCastle’s last blog post..Funny For Today

Ashley
Reply February 27, 2009

We have similar goings on with our 2 1/2 year old daughter....check out one of our stories....there are plenty enough with five kiddos I can tell you!

Ashley’s last blog post..

Ashley
Reply February 27, 2009

The blog is cangelosicrew.blogspot.com ....sorry about that!

Ashley’s last blog post..

Amber
Reply February 27, 2009

Oh, Amber, that is *TOO* funny! I can't wait to have funny stories about my daughter as she grows up... for now, though, I only have, "Oh, she woke up at 4 am. this morning and wanted to do nothing but PLAY!"... which is funny to everyone but me, the one desperately in need of coffee or chocolate, both of which have been given up for Lent.

laura
Reply February 27, 2009

http://www.lafianzoo.com/hennypenne/?p=356

laura’s last blog post..

It Feels Like Chaos
Reply February 27, 2009

So glad he was okay and we can laugh about it now! I never in a million years thought of mint toothpaste as "spicy", until I had kids and that's how they describe it! But go figure they can eat an entire bowl of regular salsa and be fine, ask for more even, but give them a dab of mint toothpaste and they scream and whine that it is too spicy!!

It Feels Like Chaos’s last blog post..Kid Fashion - Best Buys

the domestic fringe
Reply February 27, 2009

Kids can give us heart attacks like nothing else can. Glad he was safe & sound.

-FringeGirl

the domestic fringe’s last blog post..Friday’s Spotlight - Hat Chick

Adventures In Babywearing
Reply February 27, 2009

Oh that was not funny! That was scary! Whew. So glad all was ok!

Steph

Janna @RAINBOWDULL
Reply February 27, 2009

One night my (then single and no kids) cousins were visiting and we were downstairs watching a movie. Sam was about 4, and supposed to be in bed. He came downstairs and had covered his legs and arms with a mixture of toothpaste and calamine lotion. My cousins thought it was hilarious, and so did I, but I was also HOPPIN' mad! He was old enough to know better. Funny how you can feel all those things simultaneously.

Amber
Reply February 27, 2009

I know it, Janna. I thought I would die. I'm one likely to laugh at funerals. I think comedy is very, very closely linked to tragedy; it's just right over the edge from tragedy.

So after I was all mad and afraid, the fact that he wouldn't hush about the toothpaste made me so tickled I couldn't stand myself.

Megan @ Hold it UP to the Light
Reply February 27, 2009

That is so cute!!! Isn't it amazing how a missing child sends us into frantic overdrive where we feel like we have the strength of 10,000 men??? Thank heavens for mother's instinct!

My Lucy always calls stuff "spicy" too....if it has a strong taste at all (sweet, hot, tangy, bitter, etc.) it is spicy. Love it!

Have a great (less eventful) weekend (oh, but what's the fun in that??)

patty
Reply February 27, 2009

this is so terrifying and so funny at the same time! i've joined you this week, with a funny memory of my own. btw, i LOVE this idea! smiles to you! :)
www.pattysblessedmoon.blogspot.com

patty
Reply February 27, 2009

this is terrifying and funny at the same time! i joined you this week with a funny memory. i LOVE this idea, of funny fridays! thank-you for it! :)
www.pattysblessedmoon.blogspot.com

patty’s last blog post..Friday Funnies

brooke robinson
Reply February 28, 2009

Ha HA Ha!!! i have tears streaming down my face. i love your Jude so much amber! what an awesome story. you're HILARIOUS! glad this was your funny. I'm going to sit him down in 15 years and tell him how many times you saved his life.

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