This is not Les Mis


Friday Funnies

A woman named Amber and her husband and some beautiful couple friends are together drinking and dining. The two small exhausted children curl in quiet beds. The obnoxious dog paws at air as he surely dreams of eating a neighbor. Their evening, unbothered and jolly, is precariously leaning on quiet and rest.

Suddenly, in the still, stark black night in a little subdivision, like an abrupt wake-up announcement, the doorbell rings. The dog goes wild. Both babies start crying. Amber’s motherclaws bear, and she stomps to the door, opens it, babies clinging, and no one is there.

“That was a Ring and Run!” 

Amber in a streak of red, hands off a child and begins pounding her bare feet along the sidewalk. They wouldn’t be far. The friends and husband follow, doubled-over in laughter.

Amber turns a corner, yelling, “Excuse me!” just as two young boys who had been running along side their bicycles take off in dead sprints, leaving one little bike for her hostage. She picks it up from the ground, yells, “thank you!,” and rolls it inside her house.

This turns out to be quite an exciting evening for the couples. While the grown women giggle about a stolen bike and put the children back to rest, the grown men slink out the door, military style, moving from shadow to shadow, having quietly watched the children stash the other bike in an easement. 

The big, strong men sneak right up to the menaced boys, and the boys run away screaming. The men yelled, “Hey! We have your bike! You know where we live if you want them back!”

Then they too return home giggling about their own stolen bike.

Amber has never seen such scared little boys, when they quietly knocked on her door, bowed apologies and yes ma’ams. She gladly returns their bicycles for they are too small for her to ride, and she wants them to remain a reminder: Don’t Ring and Run at night. The House might be full of crazy people.

———————————

Please link here in the comments to your funny posts, pictures, or memories for the week, and if you want, you can use my sweet little Friday Funnies button code in the sidebar and link back this direction. Let’s give each other a laugh –  or at the very least – something to grin about.

——————————–

Also, I would love it if the conversation continues on the previous post about women and their secret lusts, the need for reconciliation. If any of you have anything to offer others who are struggling, please do. I know it struck a chord. 

green_icon

Tweet with me? I’m Amberrunsamuck.

amberhaines
About me

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

My Funny FAIL is Your Opportunity to SHINE
September 18, 2009
a dog with that not-so-fresh feeling
September 11, 2009
I did used to wear a dead-head shirt with pride: Friday Funnies
September 04, 2009
looking back, it’s really funny
August 27, 2009
my son: a future conservative in a naked peaceful “progressive” town
August 21, 2009
Plugs and Laudations
July 10, 2009
my Spanish vocabulary and another use for duct tape
July 03, 2009
I promise
June 26, 2009
they call me the streak: a friday funny
March 27, 2009

17 Comments

Kelly
Reply August 14, 2009

omg - WHAT a way to teach a lesson! This is TOO funny! LOL!

I posted my funny last week, wishing for you to share it with, so I'll just link here. ;-) http://www.thisrestlessheart.com/2009/08/poor-piper-take-two.html

emily
Reply August 14, 2009

This is a fabulous Friday Funny! See? You're SO funny...even if it is in a crazy sort of way.

L.L. Barkat
Reply August 14, 2009

The house might be full of crazy people... indeed. :)

Your poem is featured today at http://highcallingblogs.com Delighted to feature it!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins
Reply August 14, 2009

HA! That's awesome! So glad you decided to teach them a lesson - too many people don't!

Here's my Friday Funny - Product endorsement FAIL.

BlueCastle
Reply August 14, 2009

You guys are hilarious! Really great story. I bet that might be the last time those little hoodlums pull that prank. :) I'm so glad you resurrected The Friday Funnies!

Here's one I wrote back in April and I've been saving it. I've kind of gotten myself into a niche with blogging mainly about decorating and sometimes don't post the other things I come up with. Well, it's goofy and fits here, I think. :) Thank you for giving me a place to share the funny stuff that happens in my life.

http://www.sarahsbluecastle.com/blue_castle/2009/08/unnecessary-panic.html

Lora Lynn
Reply August 14, 2009

So this is the best I've got this week, which isn't saying much. I suspect it was only funny to me because I wouldn't let myself cry in front of the company. http://www.vitafamiliae.com/?p=2307

brittney
Reply August 14, 2009

Hahahaha! LOVE this! I've never heard it called a "Ring and Run" I've always heard it called "Ding-Dong Ditch."

My funny isn't long enough for a post, so I'll just leave it here:

(Sometimes I get sick with all the hype about iPhones. Yes, they are fairly genius, but sometimes I get tired of hearing about them.) A Pizza Hut commercial came on television and said at the end, "Now, you can order from your iPhone!" And I said to my husband, "Yeah? You can order Papa John's from any phone!"

He got a kick out of that one. Now it doesn't seem so funny in writing.

Micah
Reply August 14, 2009

That is hilarious. Has your reputation as the "crazy lady" not made it around the neighborhood yet? Well, I guess it will now.

By the way, you were much nicer to those boys than the guy who shot at me and friends one night when we were ringin' and runnin' (in jr. high, not recently. I'm much more careful now).

mandie
Reply August 14, 2009

Too funny!

Boy Crazy
Reply August 14, 2009

we always called it Ding Dong Ditch. And it usually came after we got done toiletpapering their house! ;) And by 'we' I mean, all the other kids in the neighborhood.... heh heh.

i love that you took the bike. i would totally have done that, but my non-confrontational husband would have been totally embarrasssed by me. ;)

Boy Crazy
Reply August 14, 2009

oh, and I didn't write a funny post today (not yet, anyway), but here's a link to a funny story I wrote a while back. It's a little long, but any mama of boys will appreciate what comes near the end. :)

http://clarity-chaos.blogspot.com/2009/06/sos.html

Wendy
Reply August 14, 2009

I so wish we lived closed to you guys so that we could hang out. There would be many laughs I'm sure! Amber..... you are AMAZING!!!
:)

Sara Sophia
Reply August 14, 2009

YAY! I love your middle of the night fury:)

I would have done the same thing.

You.
Do.
NOT.
Wake.
My.
Sleeping.
Babies.

No sir.

Not on my watch.

<3 sarasophia

Secret Agent Mama
Reply August 15, 2009

HIGHLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie
Reply August 16, 2009

I really love your story. This is hilarious. And I feel like my friends and I would TOTALLY do something like that.

shelly
Reply August 17, 2009

Thank you for the laugh, you guys are awesome! I just finished reading your first post at incourage and my heart was filled....now its overflowing!

Ashley Haguewood
Reply August 18, 2009

I am proud to be a crazy...a house of crazies indeed! I wish you would have chased after them with a wooden spoon raised and beating the air.

"grown men slink out the door, military style, moving from shadow to shadow, having quietly watched the children stash the other bike in an easement.
The big, strong men sneak right up to the menaced boys, and the boys run away screaming. The men yelled, “Hey! We have your bike! You know where we live if you want them back!”
- I love how the two strong men find themselves caught between boyhood and adulthood - for sure misfits.

Love and miss you Amber!! Thank you for bringing laughter!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *