NightLight: a Guide for Young Women, On Purity and Dancing too Close to the Line
NightLight will post every Friday with encouragement for and questions from younger women. No matter your age, you are older and wiser than some, and you’ve been equipped to share through your story. Please read the guidelines and consider submitting questions or posts of encouragement or advice to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Today’s bold post is by Brooke McGothlin of A Life in Need of Change. —
It was sweet.
One word to describe? Sweet.
And I messed it up. My choice to sin messed up…no…killed my sweetness. Not only did I sin, but I caused my brother to fall too. Double sin.
It wasn’t the only issue our relationship had, but choosing to be intimate with him before marriage caused a loss of the sweetness. We didn’t even officially have sex. I was a virgin when I married in the technical sense of the word. But we lost something with each touch. And I’ll regret that forever.
I called him mine. But he wasn’t. Never intended to be mine. From the beginning of time, he was NOT meant to be mine. But I treated him like he was mine for the taking.
Was it worth it? No. I remember the dirt road where the Lord told me it would end. I cried, screamed, said, “I can’t do this! Please don’t do this to me! I love him!” But I knew in my heart he wasn’t the one. An unholy alliance entangling our hearts made it that much harder to untangle.
As God told me it would, the relationship with this sweet one ended.
A short time passed and I found the one. A different sweet. One tainted with loss. Falling for the one but grieving the other. Attraction? I’ve never felt such suction toward another human. Heart, mind, soul, and yes, body. But waiting.
Waiting, but struggling. Failing some here and there, but both committed to purity. Waiting, asking for strength, help, forgiveness and for a love that considered the other as more important.
One morning, after we danced too close to the line, I walked across campus and heard His voice again. “Be careful love. You’ll lose again. Love ME more than your sin. I know you want to love. I created you to love. But love Me MORE.”
So I chose Him, waited, and knew real love. Know real love.
Okay, Ladies! What’s your two cents? Let’s get some conversation started in the comments.