NightLight Guide: the Calm and the Storm


Somehow I just now read this amazing NightLight submission from Caroline Collie. Check her out. I think I love her!

NightLight posts every Friday with encouragement for and questions from younger women. No matter your age, you are older and wiser than some, and you’ve been equipped to share through your story. Please read the guidelines and consider submitting questions or posts of encouragement or advice to nightlightguide@gmail.com.

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The Calm and The Storm

I think it was a Sunday. Missionary sounds glamorous doesn’t it? Missionary in Scotland… even more so?

Three years in the UK and cultures finally collided. The decision to circumcise our son meant it had to happen on our kitchen table. A very skilled surgeon. Two-month-old-eyes that never looked so painfully blue. Standard procedure. Some nursing, a nap.

A discovery.

He is the one in a thousand who bleed. And bleed. Two red-soaked diapers and a frenzied drive to the hospital. We stared at the ceiling. A blur of text messages, prayers, emotions. I watched sharp needles struggle to find veins in tiny hands, tiny feet. He had never looked so pale, fragile and helpless. Please Lord… pleasepleaseplease. He’s only met one of his grandparents.

In the bathroom I practiced the count-to-five moment I learned from an episode of Lost. Stared in the mirror. Fought tears. Expected my heart to leap from my chest. How will I tell my Mom?

Then somewhere, from far corners of my mind, there was a remembrance of a promise. Words from last week’s sermon. Something about green pastures. Still waters.

You are with me.

Still freaking out, but somehow, peace. I tell the truth – in that moment, somehow, there was peace. I found myself in peace.

Would you like to kiss your baby goodbye?

What idiot asks that? Under a general anesthetic, tiny veins were being cauterized while we cried, trusted, prayed. Finally, some nursing, a nap. Sleep.

Joy comes in the morning. Our baby boy was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. Exuberance personified. Exhaustion and Joy had never swum the rivers of my heart so fully and so closely. I would give thanks from then on for every day we share. God met me in that hour, though I can’t explain it. I can only testify with rejoicing that when all seemed lost, Peace found me.

When crisis finds you, where do you find yourself?

amberhaines
About me

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5 Comments

Prudence
Reply May 28, 2010

Wow. Amazing. Peace does come in our darkest hours. Even when our world is spinning out of control.

Caroline
Reply May 29, 2010

Thanks for having me over, Amber! I'm afraid my thoughts on crisis didn't create much conversation! I still feel special! :)

Danielle
Reply May 29, 2010

Loved this! You know, I experienced the most peace ever while my husband was unemployed for 3 months. It really is amazing how God "shows up" in those types of circumstances!

Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama
Reply June 4, 2010

What a beautiful surprise to find a piece of my South Africa over here today! Caroline - dankie - I will say more over at your place. I just wanted to make sure Amber knew how wonderful it was to stumble into a special person over here on her front porch today!

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