and I’m already wearing elastic waist bands


I’ve eaten two biscuits today while reading old posts of mine, how I used to turn a phrase, and now how I hardly get my sheets turned up.

My words here have been fewer and fewer as nausea lets me know that my body is busy stewing up another grandbaby. There’s certainly internal creativity going on. In the meantime, I’m watching a lot of television.

My heart’s gone all matter-of-fact, and my body is being poetic. Christmas Day I didn’t leave the couch. I watched Ben Hur for the first time, and every time I saw the color yellow, I almost hurled. Pure poetry, huh?

All my good stuff is making fingers and toes this week, week 8. It’s a matter of happy fact, while my boys are in the deep-end of  imagination after watching A Christmas Carol. They’ve been floating around the apartment, whoo-ing like ghosts for hours. Normally I would take the opportunity to talk about a spirit world, but for now I just tell them to whoo more quietly.

This post, in all it’s glory, has taken two days to write. I’m serious. Somebody give me a writing topic. Something. Anything to stir the creative juice. All this matter of factness to me is like taking the wild out of a wildcat.

amberhaines
About me

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19 Comments

Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms
Reply December 28, 2010

Baby names! Why don't you hold a contest where your readers get to pick the name of your baby?! Oh, the fun! BTW, I vote for Kristen if it's a girl and Christopher if it's a boy. Ha!

Awww, just kiddin'. I hope your morning sickness subsides quickly. I had it something fierce with both my pregnancies (although worse with my second even though I had twins the first time!)

Merry Christmas, Haines family!

Ann Kroeker
Reply December 28, 2010

Boy, do I remember those days well...mind feels as if it's turned to mush, like, for real, like all I had to work with up there was a bowl of gummy grits. I hated that feeling--that the thing I use to string words together wasn't functioning like it used to.

The thing is...it doesn't *feel* like it's functioning like it used to. To you. But you, my dear, even if you are operating at half your usual ability, will produce quite remarkable prose and poetry. Just keep writing. You won't think so while you're working on it, but keep at it, even if it takes longer, and you'll look back and say, "You know, Ann was right. My work was good during that time. I'm so glad I didn't give up."

Terri
Reply December 28, 2010

Congratulations!!! Being a part of creation is such an honor and a privilege. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of topics to blog about... Blessings!

deidra
Reply December 28, 2010

What's more creative than making fingers and toes? I don't think it gets much better than that!

mandy Eoff
Reply December 28, 2010

how about roles in marriage? that should get the comments rolling ;) recently heard part of a Mark Driscoll sermon on the subject-
contrast the viewpoints of submissive wife or enabler--what is Biblical, what is cultural?

Kindra
Reply December 28, 2010

amber... i've only watched ben hur once but i do remember it was long... i mean really long - only another month or so until you are in the second tri - amazing how fatigued you get in that first trimester - actually, you writing that it took you two days to write this post is somewhat encouraging to know that i'm not the only one who feels writer's block - but you have an extra good reason!

i have two boys under two (hey, i'm starting out like you!) and i would love to hear what God has taught you about himself, yourself, or others in the parenting process (of love, discipline, growth, etc.)

megan
Reply December 29, 2010

oh, amber....i feel for you. that blah stomach-churning...i can empathize. sorry! no grand topic ideas from me, just sympathy. and maybe some advice? 1 B6, 1/4 of a unisom, and a spoonful of peanut butter used to help me! and i agree with ann...you+pregnant mushy brain still = brilliant writing!

Kelly Sauer
Reply December 29, 2010

"My heart’s gone all matter-of-fact, and my body is being poetic." - this is wonderful!

"...Every time I saw the color yellow, I almost hurled." Moly, girl - I thought that was just ME! I've wondered since I had B if it was a pregnancy thing! I blamed it on the S.C. light, but it hasn't been bothering me since I had the baby! What's with THAT?

Love you muchly...

Theresa
Reply December 29, 2010

Hmmm...
Possible blog topics: I got nothin' AND I'm not even pregnant!

emily freeman
Reply December 29, 2010

Oh friend. That yellow always made me wanna hurl too. This post is fantastic. It so perfectly illustrates pregnancy, especially b/c it took you 2 days to write it. I once bragged that you could write a post about doorknobs and make it beautiful. And then you did, and of course, it was. Maybe now you could write about home or flight or the coveted gift of invisibility. Love to you, sweet girl. Can't wait to hug your neck in Nashville!

deb
Reply December 29, 2010

I'm still swirling around in your post about Seth's grandfather. I didn't comment because my words would have ruined the moment, the sacred space around yours.

and Amber. I think your grocery list would be poetic and lyrical and make me swoon. as long as listing the food didn't make you too dizzy and want to hurl .

Tammy@if meadows speak
Reply December 29, 2010

"My heart’s gone all matter-of-fact, and my body is being poetic." This is the truest sense of poetry! How lines are written in DNA and a Creator is creating His masterpiece just underside of a navel. And how it takes ALL your focus with attention on your own body in constant change and growth. For me, pregnancy was like a cocooned tunnel I lived in for 9 months and I was oblivious to the world spinning just outside my door. Taking care of you and that developing artwork is true mothering poetry!

kendal
Reply December 29, 2010

this post made me smile. i'm with the other commenters - baby names or the grocery list would be awesome!

Jo@Mylestones
Reply December 29, 2010

Can I just ditto Deb for my comment? Cuz yeah, you could make a grocery list poetic.
Love to you and your beautiful, growing family.

Sharon O
Reply December 29, 2010

Why don't you write about your dreams and goals for your child to be. Expand on your hopes and your excitement. Maybe do it once a month the 1st of the month take a picture of you and write it so by the time the baby arrives you will have a journal book with pictures for your litttle one to treasure for a life time. You won't be able to write about it later. Keep in mind this is a precious time even if you are sick.

Kelly @ Love Well
Reply December 29, 2010

I know! It's amazing, isn't it? Not only is the nausea a drain on ... well, EVERYTHING, but it's so bizarre to me that moving teeny, tiny cells around completely kills my creativity.

This too shall pass.... :-)

Shannon
Reply December 29, 2010

You poor girl. I feel your pain. I remember reading once that a woman in her first trimester of pregnancy, HOLDING STILL, is burning more energy than a normal-sized man climbing a mountain. I don't know if that's true, but it surely *felt* true to me. You just exert your energy to that slow-cookin' belly of yours, and we'll be here when you feel better. ;)

Elora
Reply December 30, 2010

girl...you just keep writing. don't worry about posting it on here. let your heart speak from those deepest moments of your precious baby forming. we'll wait. :)

Jess
Reply December 31, 2010

You know, I felt this exact same creative void with my pregnancies, as though my spirit were being stretched and divided. It does help to think of the new life as your most creative act. I hope you begin feeling well again soon!

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