on the rare ones, my tribe


This stage of motherhood is the touched stage, the tugged, the wetly kissed, the invasion of the tickle monsters. One day, I’ll fear half-hugs from my sons, and I’ll look back and wonder about my good husband, how I got a hicky on my neck on the day I wore sweat pants, had a cold, and didn’t shower.

Some days, when I welcome television noise or when the boys are making rules for their fort and assigning man-names, I sneak to my writing place, and I spread out there, soaking in aloneness. I take the invisible straw out of my mouth, and I breathe deep sighs of still air. I try not to move a muscle. How long can I go without blinking?

Many days, I click to facebook and see photos of girlfriends together. I hear about lunch dates with soandso. I long, too, to join other women, like I did before becoming a homeschool mom, when so much of life was friends. I still don’t see it’s importance over what I’ve chosen to do, but that doesn’t replace the longing.

Next week comes the rare occasion that I leave home to let parts of me come out like a winter tiger lily. I get to go to BlissDom again and leave my little ones in Alabama with my amazing sister. I’ll be leading a Wednesday Workshop on Prompted Writing with the lovely SaraSophia and the hilarious Mrs. Leslie Flinger.

I’ll room with friends that I cannot believe I know, blogging friends who have become some of my best.

THIS ONE has three boys, knows loss, and is a home-educator, a creative soul who covers me in prayer. THIS ONE is a gentle soul who passionately loves beauty, sees God everywhere, the creature, the created things. She has four children, and she’s a poet. They both know the power of words, and they both know how to use it. They both prayed out loud for me when my Jude got so sick, one pulling off on the side of the road to lift her hands in petition.

How could I ever know such as these? Both Guides in the Lovely.

So I’ll room with Arianne and SaraSophia at BlissDom, and we’ll join any who love words as we do in what we’re calling the #WriterTribe. If you want to join us, watch for the hashtag on twitter and gather up with us when the tribes get into groups. If you won’t be at BlissDom, just follow those in the #writertribe online.They’ll be your type but in all different flavors, which is exactly what I like. “Takes all kinds,” I always say when life proves interesting. Like the webbernets to a Grandmaw, I can’t believe sometimes just how much I enjoy online writing that is so very different from mine.

Joining forces with the unlikely people I would never have otherwise known has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve received.

I hope to see you in Nashville, but if I don’t, come along with me from here. I’ll let you in on the good stuff as I know to recognize it.

amberhaines
About me

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16 Comments

abbyleigh
Reply January 17, 2011

good stuff is a coming. i can't wait.
you are a trio of tribeswomen leading the way to the place where words explode and something else even better is left behind in the debris :)

abby

To Think Is To Create
Reply January 17, 2011

That straw keeps us going until suddenly the survival isn't enough anymore. We long for living.

I love this.

And yes, the homeschool mom longing...you've said it so well.

I humbly join you in our tribe of miscreants, ne'er do wells and Sara Sophia.

Danielle K
Reply January 17, 2011

Does this mean it's been a year since I met you in Nashville? Oh how time flies!

Emily @ The Pilot's Wife
Reply January 17, 2011

Can't wipe the grin away. SO excited.

Kristen@Moms Sharpening Moms
Reply January 17, 2011

I'll be one of those enjoying the ride here from your space. You can always be counted on to bring the good stuff! No, the great stuff!

Cassie Boorn
Reply January 17, 2011

I may or may not have asked Alli if I could follow you around all weekend and soak up your wisdom.

Elizabeth @claritychaos
Reply January 17, 2011

Oooh, have fun, enjoy, and bloom bloom bloom, Miss Winter Tigerlily!

I thought this year might be mine to go, but not so. I do look forward to a full-day writing retreat in town, though, with my beloved teacher whom I've written about before.

So cheers to mindfulness and writing and lovely friends at your side.

in the hush of the moon
Reply January 17, 2011

oh, i ache to be there with you and sara. i just got connected with sara, and what a gift she is. and i was thinking, longing, today, for that get-away with writers such as you. praying for it. i will continue to pray. meanwhile, keep finding that space away, friend, for we need your words. just as much as your boys need your lessons :) love to you. e.

Sara Sophia
Reply January 17, 2011

My favorite part is Ari's comment,
"miscreants, ne'er do wells , and Sara Sophia"

I want that on a t-shirt <3

And e?
I would give my left pinkie toe to have you there with us (which is a lot when you think about it) ... your words float me up kite-high.

--S.S.

emily freeman
Reply January 18, 2011

Well, you know I'll be hoofing it around after you in that writer tribe - soaking up all the words and the different-ness! Can't wait to see you again, friend.

Elora
Reply January 18, 2011

isn't it crazy? i consider some bloggy-friends turned best as well. it's amazing to me sometimes the community i've experienced within the internet. the comments turned texts...the blog posts turned e-mails and phone calls...it's beauty.
hoping you have an incredible time at blissdom - no doubt you will. no doubt you'll gain inspiration and new perspective - a full well for spilling out. wish i was joining you in person but will follow the hashtag. and? can't wait to hug your neck in february. for reals.

Meg
Reply January 18, 2011

Sounds like a wonderful event! Have fun!

Sharon O
Reply January 18, 2011

Someday I will go to a writers conference. And I will learn and soak in all the 'wisdom' given and taught but most of all I will treasure new friends made and memories shared. I miss the company of women. Someday... it will be a gift and an honor to go and learn and soak in all the ways to become a better writer. If the Lord allows ... someday.

Seth - Your Husband
Reply January 19, 2011

I hope that the #WriterTribe picks a fight with some other tribe, West-Side-Story style. I know you are all women, and the conference is more likely to end in a tear smatterd "no, I love you" festival, but I think it might be fun for the ne'er do wells (and Sara Sophia) to start a little ruckus.

In all seriousness, I miss you when I have to share.

Prudence
Reply January 19, 2011

So sad I'll miss you (and many others) by a week. Friday my husband and I are leaving for Nashville for Dream Year Weekend. I'll leave a piece of my heart there as a hug for you.

Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama
Reply January 30, 2011

Ditto what Ari said!

I will never forget that remarkable image of the three of you silhouetted against the Blissdom auditorium Flash Mobbing it like the teenage versions of yourselves had climbed right out of the homeschooling mamas, donned gloves and sparkles and lit up the skyline.

Beauty.

On paper and in person.

You truly are, Amber!

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