sex ed


We pile on our green couch after dinner to cover Our 24 Family Ways, where we ask the boys questions like, “If you knew you were about to say goodbye to someone for a very long time, what would you say?” – and where Ian will answer with phrases like, “black spider man will eat your lunch!”

Our efforts in the realm of Biblical teaching always seem to end with discussions on bodily functions or in snarly faces at the arguments over who gets to say the nighttime prayer.

Last night, our conversation ended like this:

Isaac: Daddy, when does someone get to be a grown-up?

Seth then gives a silly explanation of maturity that allows for a short detour in college. Finally he says you grow up when you get married.

Isaac, turning beet red: Ewwwwwww! I don’t want to get married!

Us: Why not?

Isaac: Because Gross! And I don’t think y’all are gross, but I’m glad I’m not y’all!

Me: Well, Jude has to get married because he always talks about how he wants to have lots of babies.

Isaac: Jude, then that means you’ll have to love a woman A LOT! And that means that she’ll have to be really really really really sexy.

And though we’ve explained many facts concerning sex and though I see ears perk like taste buds to honey when the topic comes up, we are surprised, hysterically laughing, slobbering down our face, knee slapping, and red as beets.

Isaac, with hands in the air and concerned face: What? Isn’t that really how babies work?

This message brought to you by Homeschooled Sex Ed: this hood’s got more birds and bees than any playground. Kids ask questions, and we [the parents] give answers first.
photo credit
amberhaines
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12 Comments

Angela Mackey
Reply March 2, 2011

I love this. We have had age appropriate discussions about sex too. It is always interesting what they think we tell them. :)

On a side note I think it is great that you are teaching them at such a young age. We need to do that more often or we risk our children being only educated by the world's mixed up view of sex. It is a treasure.

Off my soapbox now. Thanks for the post! ;)

Erin
Reply March 2, 2011

Kids are so hilarious. :)

I keep wishing my kids would ask, so I could answer. I swear, they are so curious about everything except that. And I'm totally not at the point yet where I can bring it up myself. But I have lots of thoughtful, just-enough-information-giving answers ready. For questions they never ask. Because instead they're asking things like, "Where are the scissors?" You know. The really impossible stuff.

Shay Gerritsen
Reply March 2, 2011

HI-larious! Honest and innocent, all at once. Oh, and, being a homeschool mom who has yet to broach the subject with my rapidly aging pretween son & decidedly tween daughter, I applaud you! I especially appreciated your sub-post disclaimer line. :) Formulating lesson plans immediately...

:)shay

tiny twig
Reply March 2, 2011

LOVE this. absolutely LOVE this.

Amanda
Reply March 2, 2011

This is too funny! :D Ah, to be that young and innocent again.

Kelly Sauer
Reply March 2, 2011

wonderful wonderful laugh-out-loud hilarity! you have the best stories!

nic
Reply March 2, 2011

HA! That totally made my day.

kendal
Reply March 2, 2011

kids crack me up!

Ashley
Reply March 3, 2011

Y'all are hilarious. I love being your neighbor!

Jen
Reply March 3, 2011

Love the disclaimer :-) Kids say the darnedest things.

@laurenlankford
Reply March 4, 2011

this killed me. i emailed it to friends. hahahaha

ali
Reply March 6, 2011

killin me! so funny!

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