Listen and Find


My baby will only be my baby for 21 more weeks, so as mothers do, I woke again in a panic. Twice since Ian’s birth, I lost two hard drives and thought myself with only a few facebook photos to remind me of his precious baby faces. I had never even printed my labor pictures or the ones from his first months of living. Along with that, I had never filled out much in his baby book, which hits me hard because I should already be writing for this little one in my tummy.

I tore out of bed with a mission to print every photo I could find on my computer and any I could find floating out there in the webbernets. After homeschooling and then ferociously cleaning out an entire chest of drawers and going through many tall stacks of papers (I do get distracted), I completely ignored social media all together, and I looked back through the last three years. I realized that Picassa kept every single photo in original sizes I had ever put on my first blog.

It was the happiest time. The boys piled around me, and we laughed hard at how many many pics I have of Jude making a mess on his face, all the ones of Ike building something,and all Ian’s motor phases, his charm developing by the day. They have grown so much.

Yadda Yadda! That’s what kids do, right? Yes, but these are my kids, becoming their own little men before my eyes, and sometimes I don’t even see it because I get so busy. I can look back, too, and give myself some credit. Three in three years isn’t easy, but we’ve had the best time, and they’ve had the very best Daddy. We’ve loved each other much.

Stepping into Lent and a bit back from social media has helped me reconnect and realign to True Center, and it’s helped me again learn to listen to the voice of whispering God, the sweet midday thoughts toward Seth, the tugs at my arm, the real questions boys ask that need answers.  Life can feel like labor, but all I have to work with is just this one minute, just this one contraction.

I’ve also learned to listen a bit to this crazy pregnant body. Last night I devoured a can of sardines and nearly an entire sleeve of saltines. I dipped them in mustard mixed with hot sauce. It was so good y’all.

All of this, all of it is good.

amberhaines
About me

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

16904190505_8aaba51958_k
Soul Practices: Part 2
January 25, 2017
ae2f599f-ad9d-4c37-9355-1d5677225132
What a Concussion Taught Me
March 25, 2016
02032016_AmberHaines_RememberGodsLove
When You’re Not a Precious Thing
February 03, 2016
unnamed-1
What I Knew In My Dying Day: a Wild in the Hollow Guest Post by Tara Owens
August 19, 2015
Wild in the Hollow Readers
Celebrating Wild in the Hollow
August 04, 2015
FullSizeRender-3-600x600
Condemnation on the Molehill
June 08, 2015
FullSizeRender-4-600x447
Tools for the Highly Sensitive Mother: An Introduction
April 27, 2015
Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room
November 26, 2014
IMG_1636-600x600
The Uncouth: The Hormonal
May 12, 2014

12 Comments

joann
Reply March 16, 2011

i WANT to listen to my pregnant body but...it only want ice cream and dr. pepper. I think it's trying to destroy itself.

I realized the other day that I have over 1700 unprinted pictures. It's a tad overwhelming, but to quote 'What About Bob', it's "baby steps to the elevator" baby.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is horribly behind in pictures. Also? Sardines are YUCK! (you know, FYI)

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode
Reply March 16, 2011

Love this, Amber. You always remind me to reconnect and realign. Thank you.

Jane Anne
Reply March 16, 2011

THIS - Life can feel like labor, but all I have to work with is just this one minute, just this one contraction. - is what I needed to hear today. I am having such a hard time right now.
Overwhelmed by life. I will try to remember that analogy when I start my day tomorrow.

Elora
Reply March 16, 2011

i love this...

Minnesotamom
Reply March 16, 2011

Wow, you give pregnancy cravings a whole new category! ;)

Aaaaaaand, I now know what I will have nightmares about tonight...

Lindsey Nobles
Reply March 17, 2011

Your babies are cute! And they'll always be your babies.

Sardines? Really? So gross. :)

ali
Reply March 17, 2011

Tears roll down my face as they usually do as I read anything you write...this time while I sit and just really really love my family. You're right...it is all good. Love you friend.

Seth
Reply March 17, 2011

Dear Lindsey with all the Noblisms:

Sardines. At 10:00 at night. With mustard and hot sauce. And when I say "with" I mean all mixed up and muddled together. And though I had my doubts, and if I were being honest...

It was actually pretty good.

Hope all is well in the land of country and gospel.

hamster
Reply March 18, 2011

yeah, i'm gonna need a copy of that first pic up there. that's a golden ticket if i've ever seen one.

AnnieLaurie
Reply March 21, 2011

Hi Amber! I found your blog today through the "Deeper Story" blog post and I just wanted to say I love your blog! Thanks for writing! This one especially made me smile. Adding you to my reader now!

Airs
Reply March 22, 2011

I've been dipping everything I can in mustard. I hate sardines but somehow...now...this sounds good!

Kelly Sauer
Reply March 23, 2011

wonderful discoveries - the pictures, the boys, the life, the mustard and sardines.... ;-)

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *