What I Relish


It’s not my first Spring in an apartment, but it’s the first to which I’ve ever paid attention. In the dark mornings for quiet times before the boys wake, the birds’ songs echo off the pavement. The interstate’s hum crescendos with the sun’s head peeking over green horizon.

A few college students have bounced their way down the stairs outside the wall right next to our head board, where I lean on pillows, hot tea in one hand, my baby belly cradled in the other.

God’s Words were alive this morning, half of my Spirit yelling at me to not forget: Bless the Lord, O my soul! – and the other half of my spirit begging God for a deep sleep to overcome my children, so I can bask in the long pause to set my mind on things that aren’t made of skin or with the hands of man.

I whisper out loud to myself things that are true. I need my ears to hear. I need the Faith that comes from hearing.

I read of an angel breaking Peter out of jail, of the first century church coming together nonstop to pray. They believed all the way. Jesus says to me again today, too, “whoever loves his life will lose it.”

Just only a mustard seed, a little dose is all I need. Things are not what they seem. My good eyes don’t give me sight.

There’s a light that burns, and for most of us, it’s dim, but I see a time coming.

It’s the mercy of God that we find ourselves in the position to relish in Him alone.

Consider what it means to have Christ-Esteem.

photo credit
amberhaines
About me

14 Comments

Seth (Your Husband)
Reply April 13, 2011

You've done well here. No hat-tipping. Just good solid truth. You're a good wife.

Kelly Sauer
Reply April 13, 2011

Ah, how you make us want Him...

Alisa
Reply April 13, 2011

Setting my mind on things that aren't made of skin or with the hands of man...thanks for that today.

Erika
Reply April 13, 2011

I considered your ending thought the whole while I was taking my morning shower (TMI?) and realized the answer would be big. Here, I give you one of my favorite ways (on my good days) to highly honor Christ . . .

"Things are not what they seem" and this is one of the ways that I esteem (Him) - a fervor for peeling back the illusion-curtain of our documentary world, seeking the audacious Fairytale.

I just made two rhymes. I'm a poet and didn't even know it. Make that THREE rhymes. Okay, I'm going to stop being corny all over your blog now.

Bye! :)

    Amber
    Reply April 14, 2011

    Girl, you can be corny here any time. I'm a cheese factory myself.

    I'm trying to think about it, too - what it means to have Christ-Esteem.

Melissa
Reply April 13, 2011

Little miss amber. I am so glad I got to meet you IRL. It's puts flesh and blood to the words you write. I share your heart sweet friend. Sooooo many things and circumstances we have in common. Your boldness in telling your story challenges me to one day do the same for the sake of encouraging another. It's trickling down my dear. The love of Jesus is spilling over! Thank you for sharing.

Angela
Reply April 13, 2011

I resonate with your words today. It's the "things that aren’t made of skin or with the hands of man" that make the dishwater and laundry piles all have more meaning and purpose. We're part of something bigger.

I am new to your blog, but I have been devouring it over the past few days. I found you through a link at chatting at the sky. And something extraordinary happened for me after reading through several of your posts that first night.

I gave birth to a poem in a way that has never happened for me. It came out fully formed. It lived and it breathed and I pushed it out. It felt so good.

I didn't really understand what had happened until the next morning when I read the most recent post on clarity in the chaos called "Writers are great lovers." I'm new to all this bloggy linky stuff, so I don't even know how to directly link you to that post, but it gives language to how God has used you for me this week.

So thanks. And keep writing. Just keep writing...

    Amber
    Reply April 14, 2011

    Angela, WOW.

    Isn't it a crazy feeling to birth a poem?

    I love Elizabeth. You can point me toward her posts any day.

    Your coming here means a lot to me. Thank you for the encouragement.

Theresa
Reply April 14, 2011

Nice! It's so lovely to be in His presence!

Danelle Townsend
Reply April 14, 2011

Yes. It is in His mercy that we can relish in Him alone.
Can I be honest?
The worst of days are when I find myself relishing anything else before Him.
I am always, always pleading for His mercy, that which allows me to be wholeheartedly pursuing Him alone and relishing in only Him.
Thank you Amber.
These words from Him through you made their mark in me today.

    Amber
    Reply April 14, 2011

    Danelle, those are my worst days, too. I let them happen way too often.

    Thanks for encouraging me.

Arianne
Reply April 14, 2011

I wonder how many have had the luxury of being in a position where they only had Him to relish. The terrifying freedom.

This got ominous at the end for me. In the most truthful way that truth can be.

    Amber
    Reply April 14, 2011

    Ari, honestly, it felt ominous when I wrote it.

    I have the hold on tightly feeling, the hold to God alone feeling.

    Terrifying freedom is right, but there, I have to believe, is ultimate joy.

    SO thankful you get me.

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