Born Again and Again


Another month has blown by since I’ve written. Two of those weeks I spent in “false labor,” questioning my body, my mind, counting contractions with an iPhone App.  The intensity died down over and over, and progression began to sound like a thing for all the other women in the world, not meant for me.

Now I know that – in my swaying hips, the way my neck held on to my bobbing head and how my eyes stayed in their sockets when they wanted to roll out, how it took the full strength of humankind to not push, to merely breathe – I didn’t have to agree with the truth for the truth to be true. My body is amazing.

I thought he would never come. But after 6 intense hours of unbelieving natural labor, after the hands of my dearest ones laid on me and voices said, “yes you can,” and after only three minutes of pushing, there on the squatted, wild-eyed table was born into music and air my beautiful fourth-born son, Titus Lee Haines

and was also born the purest hush to my soul, the clarity of thumping hormones in a lion mother – the lick, the purr, the pink skin crying. The flash of ancient memory. Land of Milk and Honey.

*photo by Brooke Robinson, my bff
amberhaines
About me

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43 Comments

Southern Gal
Reply August 17, 2011

Beautiful. Congratulations. Sweet blessings to you and yours.

Kelly Sauer
Reply August 17, 2011

Born again. Every time we are new. I am so happy with you, Amber...

Arianne
Reply August 17, 2011

*tears*

love you so much. this picture? it's that ancient memory. that flash. wow.

<3

Elizabeth @claritychaos
Reply August 17, 2011

oh. this got me. the lick, the purr...the flash of ancient memory.

a beautiful baby, a beautiful mama, a beautiful birth story. thank you for sharing, amber -- and congratulations to you and your family.

much love.

@bibledude
Reply August 17, 2011

love this. congrats to you and seth! and i LOVE that photo! #fistbump

moxiemandie
Reply August 17, 2011

Sweet photo.

Congrats to all of the Haines'!

Sara Sophiah
Reply August 17, 2011

I am so so glad we got to go through that with you.

You are a thunder-boom of awesome.

So much love to our BFF's the Haines,
Sara So-fee-ya.

joann
Reply August 17, 2011

the purest hush to my soul? Yes!

You know things, after giving birth. You know things you just believed before. Beautiful. He's wonderful. So are you.

Beth
Reply August 17, 2011

Beautiful, both of you! Congratulations.

Alana
Reply August 17, 2011

Beautiful! Congrats to you and your little family!

Ruthiey
Reply August 17, 2011

Congratulations! Though trouble may tarry the night, joy will come in the morning! <3

Aimee
Reply August 17, 2011

My, what a beautiful baby and what a beautiful, fantastic mother! This photo is perfection.

Congratulations, Haines Family!

LoraLynn
Reply August 17, 2011

ROWARRRRRR!!! Way to go, Mama! Enjoy that sweet baby smell!

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode
Reply August 17, 2011

You go, mama lion! Congratulations. He is just lovely.

beth@redandhonoey
Reply August 17, 2011

Congratulations to you all! What a beautiful gift. This is my first time commenting here, and I just had to say hello and introduce myself :)

Joy
Reply August 17, 2011

Congratulations Amber. Beautiful you, and oh, that picture! Welcome to the world Titus-your mama bear and papa bear love you so- they've whispered to us here just how much!

Thank you for sharing with us, sweet friend. May this next few weeks and months, in all their sleep depravity (heeee) be blessed beyond measure as you get to know this little soul.

Hannah
Reply August 17, 2011

Beautiful, girl. I love, love, love reading anything you write :)

Michelle@OneRoofAfrica
Reply August 17, 2011

Newborns are pure poetry. Thank you for sharing yours.

eloranicole
Reply August 17, 2011

whew. this is good stuff. beautiful, my friend. congratulations :)

kendal
Reply August 17, 2011

oh, he is just so beautiful. and i can't wait to hear more.

Jane Anne
Reply August 17, 2011

Oh, so beautiful - Titus, your words, and your love.

Congratulations!

Angela Mackey
Reply August 17, 2011

Beautiful! or I guess Handsome is what I should say. Congratulations and enjoy those precious cuddles!

Melissa
Reply August 17, 2011

He is beautiful! Congratulations :)

amanda
Reply August 17, 2011

You looking at him - him looking at you. That picture is perfection. Congratulations!

Teresa
Reply August 18, 2011

He is precious What a beautiful post...Blessings

laura@lifeoverseas
Reply August 18, 2011

Oh, congratulations! He is just beautiful and I heart his name, too.

ENJOY these precious moments of him being sooooo perfectly little.

tc
Reply August 18, 2011

Lovely! Congratulations and Blessings!

Megan at SortaCrunchy
Reply August 18, 2011

Congratulations all around, my friend. Such wonder. That picture is the perfect capture of moments so beyond.

Adventures In Babywearing
Reply August 18, 2011

I've so missed you! I'm so happy he is here.

Steph

hannamay
Reply August 18, 2011

Hi Amber, congratulations to your little cute angel..

Lindsey Nobles
Reply August 18, 2011

Beautiful...

Patricia @ Pollywog Creek
Reply August 18, 2011

Wow...Amber...that was simply beautiful. And look at that photo...doesn't it take your breath away to linger on such love? Congratulations to all of you in this joy beyond words.

Cori
Reply August 18, 2011

Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy!

Traci
Reply August 19, 2011

Tearing up! I'm due any day now... had bad back false labor earlier this week! I'm also planning on doing this 3rd labor all natural... please pray for me?

Love,
Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations

Kristen@Chasing Blue Skies
Reply August 19, 2011

Oh, that photo! Those words! I haven't given birth in eight years, but your words bring back all those emotions so I can feel and taste them like it was yesterday. You are beyond amazing.

And also? Love the name. Titus Lee. *He* will be a force!

Danelle
Reply August 19, 2011

He is beautiful and so are your words.
As usual. :)
Lots of love and prayers to you, the husband, and your four sons.
Welcome to the world Baby Titus Lee!

Brandee Shafer
Reply August 20, 2011

Congratulations! You're both beautiful! I've been praying for you and am glad Titus arrived safely into this world...

Clark Minn
Reply August 22, 2011

The photo is perfect!!Congratulations for having a cute baby...

Cher Shives
Reply August 24, 2011

What a very loving mom!!The baby is so adorable!!

Laura
Reply August 25, 2011

I'd love to have a baby like this also...For about 5 years to come...

reign@30-daystointernetmarketingsuccess
Reply August 26, 2011

What a beautiful baby... You are so lucky to have a baby like that. Congratulations...

Michael
Reply August 31, 2011

I'd love to have a baby of our own too...Thanks for the inspiration...

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