Taste Creation


My husband sits outside our apartment with his guitar, a melancholy sound, daddy there picking the way kids in the yard feel. He plays there so they won’t fight.

I’m in here alone with my cider. I have a new job. I’ve been working at home more (a WAHM), stopping to make drinks, do puzzles, make snuzzle sounds in ears, and be crafty. That pile of clothes? It’s still unfolded. It’s funny that after writing the Proverbs 31 woman post, I’ve become this crazy wild dreamer. Seth has always been a dreamer, I think, but I’m just now letting myself.

We nudge each other from one creative pursuit to the next, but this time, my good husband is putting his foot down. He’s telling me to stop being afraid of success. He tells me I’m beautiful. He hasn’t complained one single time about the pile of clothes. Don’t misunderstand. I don’t display his flaws here. We work hard to make the flaws into minor details.

When we married, he was happy all the time. Happy and smart. And as we get older he explores pain. He mourns for people in the space his music makes.

When you get married, you have no idea the people you’ll become, how many old versions there will be of you.

You don’t know what love is until you’ve hurt together and until you’ve made something together. You don’t continue to fall in love, but you do continue to make it, and over the years, everything about making love changes. It gets better.

We’ll have been married for 12 years this Sunday.

When we make love, we taste creation.

Photo Credit
amberhaines
About me

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17 Comments

Jess
Reply November 8, 2011

So beautiful. So honest. Speaks to me this morning. As we weather the tough spaces adoption takes us, I completely agree--you don't know all the people you will be, all the incarnations. And you don't know all the people your husband will be. That makes it all the more imperative we get to know our God. Congrats on 12 years. Beautiful.

Carissa
Reply November 8, 2011

Congrats on 12 years :)
I saw you posted again and my heart was happy... your writing, I love it.

Schell
Reply November 8, 2011

Happy Anniversary! Your a great sis-in-law and so thankful that your apart of our family. Its hard to believe that its been 12years but every time is see Gerber Daisy's in the fall I think of that weekend :) Love you both bunches!

Sarah@EmergingMummy
Reply November 8, 2011

You know, when young women ask us what our biggest advice for marriage is, I want to laugh hysterically. Our story is ours, theirs will be theirs. But I usually say this: Let each other change. Let evolution, transformation come, I am not the same woman I was on those dark Tulsa nights 12 or 13 years ago and he is not the same man. We are but we aren't, you know? And if one of you starts to change, and the other holds on too hard to the old one, you miss the chance to grow and create together. someone will be left behind. Travel together. This just says it so much more beautifully and I will share it. Happiest of anniversaries, you two. You're among my favourites-that-I-need-to-meet-someday.

Brandi
Reply November 8, 2011

Sounds like a beautiful covenant. My love and I have endured good and bad in our 14 years of marriage. We were babies when we said I do and had no idea the depths of the vows we spoke. We do now. I am at his side and he by mine through our life. I am thankful that we learned together about the truths of marriage. Happy Anniversary to you and your love.

Danelle
Reply November 8, 2011

Yes. Yes. Yes.
My husband and I will celebrate 12 in March. :)
Love your words. :) My Tony and your Seth would get along well. He is the dreamer and I have only recently allowed myself to dream a bit.
Happy Anniversary!

Adventures In Babywearing
Reply November 8, 2011

I hear this deep, and it's so true. I've often wondered if some people could have made it work a little longer who they'd finally meet in their spouse. It has definitely gotten better from my perspective.

Steph

Shannnon @nwaMotherlode
Reply November 8, 2011

Happy anniversary! My husband and I are celebrating 12 years in February. Sometimes I don't recognize us, in a good way.

Erika
Reply November 8, 2011

Love.

Janie
Reply November 9, 2011

Beautiful...and Happy Anniversary!

Carolyn Counterman
Reply November 9, 2011

Congratulations on twelve years! I love reading about how you both look at things. I think it has helped how I look at my marriage. Thank you for that.

Seth (your husband)
Reply November 9, 2011

Amber, let's visit the Luxury Ski Chalet. Okay?

ats
Reply November 9, 2011

That was so so gorgeous. amazing. Congrats. xo

diana trautwein
Reply November 9, 2011

Yes. Just - yes. Thank you for speaking beautiful truth. Making room for changes and still hanging onto all the pieces of who you were, are - and will become. Lovely.

Alice
Reply November 10, 2011

Hey Amber. Congratulations on being 12 years together. This is quite a feat in the day and age of today. Reading your post I would guess you will stay together for the rest of your life.

Sandy
Reply November 11, 2011

After 27 years of marriage- some good and some hideously bad, my husband is like my skin. I couldn't live without him.

Waverley@uncleaimedfunsnewyork
Reply December 16, 2011

Very inspirational.. Your love to each others are so amazing.. Hope you will never be parted to each other.. Love each other more! :)

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