Marriage Letters: On Patience
I guess that because we’ve written about our love, it’d be easy construct an imagined Rock House world where pictures hang perfectly, where you always remember to take out the trash, and I always keep it steamed up with good cooking and lingerie. It’s just not true, is it? Sometimes it’s hard to believe that you’re mindful of me, and when we hit those strides of frustration, I know you’re feeling the same of me.
Some of whom we’ve deemed the holiest in matrimony have turned out to be just like the rest of us – broken, prone to lonely, starved for affection and affirmation. Their families have shattered like an angry glass thrown to the floor. We watch and come home clinging. You hold me more tightly, and I take deeper, longer breathes. Every once in a while, the world spins a little slower, and we’re able to hold our marriage up to the light and call it all the words that mean precious.
Glass shattered about us, we have had to slow it all down, hold on, and wait this out. Now more than ever, we feel home together even if in boxes, but only in the sense that we’re headed to another life, and between here and there is how we fail over and over again to love and respect. I have learned from you that patience is equal part perseverance and hope. It endures disappointment, soothes it down with touch.
Our marriage has been one little failure after another, strengthened by every single time we say, “but I’m still here.” Patience is when you say, “but I’m still here.” The patient love is what inches us forward, believing in the unseen. Patience is when you walk on the waters of hope for me, when I’m refusing the vision.
It makes us feel like a miracle.
Thank you for it, for enduring with me.
Please do join Seth, Joy, Scott, and me as we hold our marriages up to the light. Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others. When you go hard after your marriage, I’m encouraged to go after mine. Thank you for joining us. Next week we’ll write on “My Job. Your Job.”