Marriage Letters: On the Names I Call You


from weheartit

Dear Seth,

Who came up with these marriage letter topics? I remind you of the one for this week, and you giggle like a boy in the kitchen, swat me with a towel, and call me Sweet Cheeks. Oh we’ve called each other many names, but Sweet Cheeks was never one of them.

So much depends on the names we call each other, the words you speak that project how you see me, often how God sees me. And not simply those spoken words, but deeper those words in our hearts, wherefrom the mouth flows, where visions are and forgiveness works itself and belief uproots bitterness. Those words I call you in my heart are power, and then to speak them is to believe fully, the confession.

I’ve called you good, handsome, God-hearer, lover, all-or-nothing, zealous, broken. I’ve called you peace-maker. I’ve called you unafraid. Smartest man I know. Completely goofy. Daddy of my children. Forgiver. Singer. Guitar Picker. Writer of songs. Lover of people. Visionary. You’re a gardener. You make things grow. You are a sufferer. You are my buddy.

Those things I call you to your face and behind your back and to your children and in my heart. I build you up out of words. And when wrong words have been used, it takes more words to cancel out the building I’ve done, what I’ve added to how God sees you.

The names I call you take an attribute that I recognize in you and then they set a course for you. You have certainly called me things that I would never have seen, and those things are becoming true of me, in the way I see myself. We all make choices based on who we think we are, what we’ve been called.

This morning at the rock house, I woke with a gentle man, to a house with a clean kitchen. Seth, you dried the dishes last night after I washed them. We do things just to stand together. Sometimes you have to make me. You are a prophet. Call me out; tell me to rest, sit in your lap. You are sweet in my ear. Name caller, you.

You are the man who takes out our trash, even when you forget. You are weak in all the right ways. That is to say that you are strong.

With every kind of love,

Sweet Cheeks

***

Please do join Seth, Joy, Scott, and me as we hold our marriages up to the light. Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others. If you write a post, simply leave the link to your Marriage Letter post only, and then send your readers to this post for more encouragement from others. Thank you for joining us.

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amberhaines
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26 Comments

Rae
Reply April 9, 2012

"We do things just to stand together." Sounds like us.
Love reading these and the invitation to reflect on and refine my marriage. Thanks.

Amanda @wandering
Reply April 9, 2012

Oh, I liked what you did with this prompt. I had no clue what to do with it! :) "The names I call you take an attribute that I recognize in you and then they set a course for you." - That an entire paragraph is such a valuable reminder about our words.

    Amber
    Reply April 9, 2012

    I didn't know what to do either! We giggled more than we wrote.

Joy @ Joy In This Journey
Reply April 9, 2012

We had some hilarious interchanges about this week's prompt too. :) Scott thinks this one was his idea and he rued that suggestion as soon as it came time to write it. Cracked me right up.

    Amber
    Reply April 9, 2012

    Joy, that is so funny! It totally WAS Scott's idea!

LoraLynn
Reply April 9, 2012

Love it. "taker out of the trash" is one of my faves.

    Seth
    Reply April 9, 2012

    I carry a mean trash can to the curb.

Melissa @ the pleated polka dot
Reply April 9, 2012

Amber this is lovely. Yes we build up with names. Often we become what we are called. I'm so thankful my man calls me loved, beautiful, gods-gift and calls me out in the most loving way of being sassy, sarcastic and often too guarded. Names are very important.

    Amber
    Reply April 9, 2012

    I totally agree, Melissa. Names are very important. I still go back to names called wrongly so I can say what is true about them - even things from when I was small. Some of those names, I go to again and again. It's strange the things we remember, you know?

Megan (FriedOkra)
Reply April 9, 2012

Beautifully written, Sweet Cheeks. Your closeness and holiness as a couple always makes me smile a bit tearfully and feel like I'm in the presence of true God-breathed awesomeness. But then the cleverness and wit and just-raw-you-ness I sense in both you and Seth makes the awesomeness so gutsy-real and next-door-knowable. Love that about you guys! These letters are such an amazingly good idea. xo

Kaitlin Curtice
Reply April 9, 2012

Amber-Lou,

It's good. It's good to stand in your kitchen and watch you and Seth call each other names. It's even good to laugh when you accidentally call Travis that name. :) Bah! Again I will say it. You are family to me, and that rock house is an extra home, one with extra love, extra peace, and extra Jesus when I really need Him.

Love you.

K

the Blah Blah Blahger
Reply April 9, 2012

Love what you did with this post!!! : )

imperfect prose
Reply April 9, 2012

i call all of my little guys "buddy." :) i like "sweet cheeks" too though. lol.

diana trautwein
Reply April 9, 2012

Oh, lovely, lovely, Amber. LOVE what you and Seth has done with this prompt. So much. Thank you.

Amy @ themessymiddle
Reply April 10, 2012

I was mentioning to a friend at lunch some of the blogs I follow and how yours and Seth's are two of them (there was more to it than that :)) and she said, "sounds like a soap opera, David married to Amber at runamuck and" NO, no, I interrupted her, SETH is married to Amber as I plucked another peanut out of the Kungpao Chicken. So, you were thought of in Beijing today. A shout out to you and Seth, at my fav place!

Megan at SortaCrunchy
Reply April 11, 2012

I keep thinking about how what comes out of our mouths is the overflow of our hearts. I keep thinking about how that plays out in family life, and you have brought me encouragement with a good measure of conviction here, friend.

LoveFeast Table
Reply April 11, 2012

It's a beautiful exchange going on between you and your man....I agree with Megan that it's an apparent overflow of the heart. I just finished writing the story of how my husband and I met and am overwhelmed, even more after reading your letter, of just the gift God has given us in our marriage. People ask us how we do it...we always reply, "We never take it for granted." These letters are a great reminder of never taking the gift for granted.
Thank you.
Kristin

Trina
Reply April 22, 2012

It's taken me a while to get the guts to do these...but I am! I love it!

http://trinalouise.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/marriage-letters-on-the-names-i-call-you/

Leah Cron
Reply August 1, 2012

I love the message on the letter.

Ann Fantom
Reply August 9, 2012

It is very interesting letter. So nice.

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