7 Thoughts on that Dark Good Day


Wojciech Weiss - Fears. 1905

Wojciech Weiss – Fears. 1905

 

  1. We wake every morning at 5 AM, which is to say that Seth wakes and makes coffee, and I get up slowly when it’s done. It’s the only quiet of our day, and we treasure it. Sometimes it lasts until 6:45 – before one or four wake up to join us. At night when they go back to bed, even if all is quiet, the noise of the day still lingers.
  2. In the morning, mercies are new. At five this morning, I felt the ground shake and heard the heavens shove around. Those are the sudden heart-pounding moments I ask myself if He’s coming. The low groan picked up into apparent thunder, and now sheets of heavy rain bullet the ground. It’s a normal day, except the boys stay home from school for Easter. We’ll be in together from the rain, and it will be dark outside.
  3. I know the story of the sun gone black and the veil ripping in two – Holy of Holies come my way. A new temple is established, and though I spend several times a day spraying cloth diapers, the temple is me, and I wear no veil.
  4. Jesus Christ died on Good Friday, and as the world has turned, Good Friday also happened to be the day at age 15 that I put myself in bed with a man. Why did I just type that for the world? Everything is metaphor; the poetry points to the real life, and I can’t bear for us to miss it – the skin, the cup, the bed, mouths, ears, and eyes, all. We give ourselves to gods when there is a way now to radiate life in the One Who Births the Soul. I have chosen before to live in the perpetual dark day.
  5. When the sun goes black that one last time, I wonder if we all wouldn’t die of fear and that be our transition into glorified bodies. Most of the time we have no idea what we’re talking about. God spoke to Moses, and it made his face glow. Moses covered it with a veil. God is a BE verb, an infinite mind indivisible, greater than all the elements of stars combined, a bigger BOOM than all our thoughts together could express.
  6. When I meet Him in the morning, because of that one dark day, I feel my face glow. I’ve seen people look away.
  7. Today may feel a little darker, but Sunday’s coming, that new dawn. When you feel the glow, that’s the eternal part. Terrible Beautiful Resurrection Day, that will be the day of our Easter best, the day we become the lilies.
amberhaines
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8 Comments

Janel
Reply March 29, 2013

Amber,
I always love your writing...it just speaks to me in such beauty. But this list my friend, such beautiful moments on a day that we reflect on being so dark.
number 5 on this list slays me my friend. this year it has been more apparent to me then ever that we do NOT understand his power and that we would be blown away by it if we just had an inkling more of knowing...thank you for the reminder.
the cross continues to humble me...thank you for the reminder that we are now the temple in which his spirit resides, that we have a bit of that glow about us after meeting with Him.

Emily
Reply March 29, 2013

I read your posts often but don't comment. I have to this time. I love this and your choices at 15 reflect mine and its so good to know there are others that have been redeemed from those same choices. It's so easy to live in shame because of them but your bringing them out into the open helps me to feel less shame about them. Thank you.

Shelly R
Reply March 29, 2013

I read here. Every post. And today I had to comment, because these speak straight everything I am feeling and cannot put into words. That sadness that is overwhelming today. And I read this "...but Sunday's coming..." Yes it is!

the Blah Blah Blahger
Reply March 29, 2013

So grateful for that new dawn...Glory!

Linda
Reply March 29, 2013

Amen.

And I must say, I appreciate the freedom in your writing, it's what keeps me coming back. : )

karissa shannon sextape
Reply July 27, 2013

You could certainly see your skills within the article you write.
The world hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren't afraid to say how they believe. At all times go after your heart.

spanish to english translation google
Reply October 17, 2013

I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog?
Its very well written; I love what youve
got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of
content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text
for only having one or two images. Maybe you could
space it out better?

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