Find the Marrow
Often I wake in the night, and there will be a thought stuck right out front, something that feels new. Sometimes I wake and feel like my dreams are a mingling with the thoughts of Another. A few weeks ago, I woke, listening, like I had made a decision in my sleep that said: I will begin to enjoy my babies, to hold them while they’re still small. It’s not an earth-shattering thing, only a small moment of clarity, but lives have been changed by small things. My boys are growing at a much faster pace than I’m learning to enjoy them, so I listened close. The following days have been better at our house. They’ve been slower. I’ve stopped to hold them.
In this stage of needing to produce more than I’ve ever produced, I’ve been trying to open my eyes to the main things. If I boil it down, what really matters here? It makes me laugh, really, because the list is pretty short. Things have become simple for me lately. Even a small thing like sitting down to hold my boys has changed my chemistry. I’m becoming better adjusted, all oxytocined-up with mother love, but this means letting other things go.
I’ve also said, by George, the sink may be full, but I’m reading this year. I’m going to read my heart out, because I’ve spent two years now calling any sit-down time a luxury, when actually, if I sit down for 20 minutes to read, I feel engaged and more like a little sunshine has entered in. I am healthier and less stressed, plain and simple. There are some things we need to do to be healthy that have nothing to do with producing more words or deeds or money.
It’s a slow process for me, and it’s still work, working to slow down, but I’m learning to wake up to it and learning how to be intentional.
I’ve been reading Tsh’s book, Notes From a Blue Bike and dog-earing pages and underlining. It’s all Ah-ha, and yes. Phenomenal! Watch this:
Now get thee to the Amazon and order it up. Leave a comment here with a little bit about how you would like to slow down and enjoy your life more, and five of you will get a copy!