this will explain
For my blog’s 250th post, I am now going to give it its proverbial birthday cake with “25 Random Things” about me. Facebook will be so proud.
1. I have vivid memories from being a small child.
2. I was as tall as the bottom rail on the porch, and as I passed the rose bush on the west side of our trailer, a thorn scratched my cheek. I still have the scar.
3. I was two. I shook my hair down from a pony tail as I watched my pregnant Mama sit at her vanity brushing her hair between contractions. She asked me if I was ready for her to go get the baby. I worried and worried that she wouldn’t because I looked like I said “no” as I shook my hair down.
4. On my hands and knees between the porch and the tire swing, I took a big bite of dog-food just as Mama shrieked out the back door at me. I never did that again. Thank goodness.
5. I have some cousins that are some of my best friends.
6. My closest girl cousin once ate the “A” off my birthday cake before I blew out the candles, and once she found the Easter egg that had my name on it in cursive, fought over it with another cousin, and squashed it to nasty bits. I bitterly recount these things to her often.
7. I wanted to be just like this same cousin. I tried on her home-made bubble suit everyday for months and asked Mama if I had grown enough to be able to wear it. I’m honored that she really is now one of my best friends.
8. Her brother has always been my closest male cousin. Once, in the middle of the woods, we climbed to the top of a ruined barn that had been stripped down to the bare framework and rusted nails. Tin waved like surrender flags. We walked along the rotting roof with our arms out straight like we were on balance beams, and we didn’t fall.
9. Once we secretly went up to the attic, found a very large bullet from Vietnam, took it to the woods, and shot it with a bebe gun. It exploded like backfire, and the shell flew through my hair. Our hearts stopped. We didn’t realize what we were doing until we could have been dead.
10. I have a lot of stories where I didn’t realize what I was doing until I could have been dead.
11. I have vivid memories of profound aloneness where I felt suddenly aware of some great and invisible presence. Never did I feel more of that than on the pebbled shores, drifting peat hills, and stinging-nettle infested 6th century monastery of Inishbofin.
12. I love to travel long distances alone.
13. The most fun I ever had was my week alone in London.
14. Once I drove alone following signs to a ruined church building miles and miles down a dirt road into South Carolina Woods.
15. In high school I felt really sexy when I wore a short jumper, baby barrettes, daddy’s long tube socks, and my One Stars. I think a more-refined version of this is about to hit modern style – complete with the chunky clunk shoes. Mark my word – the 90’s are coming back.
16. Growing up, I hated cheesy crackers unless I had a cup of orange juice to accompany them.
17. I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of wanting to go dancing.
18. The Christmas Eve I was 12, I was pretending with my sister to watch out the window for Santa. We looked up into the dark and saw a star whirling around the sky before it came to a complete halt. It then split into two (or 3 – I don’t remember how many), and they all whirled about before stopping, rejoining, slowly descending, and then disappearing.
18. I think X-Files was the best show ever made.
19. I almost failed Mrs. Wagner’s English class in Jr. High, but I graduated with a 3.89 GPA with a degree in English.
20. I am All or Nothing.
21. I am All or Nothing- except for when it comes to housework, and there I am fair-to-middlin’.
22. Yo Gabba-Gabba makes me a rump-shaker and is extremely entertaining to me, but I do not get the significance of its phallical characters.
23. I don’t think you can beat a sausage biscuit with mustard. What’s that? No. I don’t mean that I think it’s impossible for you to use mustard to beat up on a sausage biscuit. I mean, I like sausage biscuits with mustard a whole lot.
24. When I was little, I heard a lot of phrases like: “Why, she’s crazy as a betsy bug!” and “Why, that’s better than snuff!” I cannot explain these things, but I do say them with increasing frequency.
25. I am currently wearing an old t-shirt, a cardigan, gray running pants, and brown moccasins. When I do this sort of awful thing, I feel compelled to put on make-up. Like any good country girl, I love make-up and could spend hours playing in it even if no one is to lay eyes on me.