a love story: the more you try to put it out, the more it burns

Warning: this post is not shy on raciness, a topic we don’t usually broach, one very much a part of my testimony. For backstory, read my love songs.

word-of-testimonyWe whispered as we walked to the dark station. Old, empty freights lined up next to the track. We climbed in one, and as we began to kiss, an 18 wheeler from nowhere slung into our pitch black, pumping his lights and pulling his horn, and he jumped out yelling and running before his wheels stopped. We said our first cuss words together and ran down the tracks as if Jeepers Creepers wanted our Peepers.

That was when I didn’t need to sleep and I wasn’t hungry, when chocolate  had no taste. 

Before the train station was the drive to a concert. The hole ripped in the knee of my jeans was wide, and he was able to stick his finger in and touch the back of my knee. There, a key turned, the curtain pulled way back, the lights came on, and a river sprang up. The first time his skin touched my skin, I was blind for minutes, while internal wires shot off all wildly exposed, awake, and setting fire.

Erotic love is a trick birthday candle.

About me


When I Don’t Feel God
March 11, 2013
Concrete Words: An Abstraction on the Rock
January 28, 2013
Marriage Letters: I Knew You Loved Me When
February 27, 2012
Marriage Letters: On the Sexy
January 09, 2012
Taste Creation
November 08, 2011
sex ed
March 02, 2011
The Hidden Part, On Intimacy
February 21, 2011
A Community Companion: on learning love
October 27, 2010
Let’s Talk About Sex: on Naked Time and Modesty, a guest post by Lora Lynn
October 15, 2010


Reply February 10, 2009

this thing cannot be anymore than 200 words, but there are up to five amazing moments here. brevity is your forte, my friend. keep 'em coming.


Megan @ Hold it UP to the Light
Reply February 10, 2009

Intriguing me more and more....I love the way you paint the moments with exquisite, descriptive words. Amazing!

Reply February 10, 2009

Beautiful and indeed, muy caliente. May need to come back and read it at 9 p.m. versus 9 a.m....
And, by the by, it was really, really lovely to meet you, the woman who inspired The Mother Letter. xo

Carrie_in_TN’s last blog post..Looking for all the Latina bloggers.

Reply February 10, 2009

It's amazing, like Megan said, how short this is and yet how much you've put into those few words. Write more soon, please.

BlueCastle’s last blog post..EyeCandy

the domestic fringe
Reply February 10, 2009

Ok, is this a to be continued story? I hope so!!


the domestic fringe’s last blog post..When Good Kids Go Bad

Shannon M.
Reply February 10, 2009

I still remember being on the school bus and how my knee physically BURNED after my crush's hand moved away. And, for me, breaking up with that first boyfriend was when I discovered that chocolate could be tasteless.

Shannon M.’s last blog post..Good Gossip: A Guilt-Free Dish

Reply February 10, 2009

Oh y'all, there is so much more to this story, and I plan to write it in bits every Tuesday. It feels good to me to do it.

I didn't want to say this in the post, but you know that verse in Song of Solomon 2:7, "do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"? I guess this is just a shout out to all the singles. This verse ain't kidding.

Shannon M. - Yes, the burning. Movie Theatres with a boy are like that, too. Do you remember (or maybe it's just me) when you wanted the guy to hold your hand so badly, and you didn't know how to make that happen, and you never were sure if he was about to go for it or not?

Reply February 10, 2009

Hi Amber, thanks for your comment and your kind words on my blog this afternoon! Emily had posted a link to you this morning, and I found you and fell in love with your writing style, so I added you to my links list to see what happens! So lovely to "meet" you!

Kelly’s last blog post..Weary and Coming to Jesus

Reply February 10, 2009

Oh, mama. This is racy in all the right places. Yeah, I agree with Carrie - it calls for an evening re-read, to be sure. And yes - the ache and awkwardness of not quite knowing how to get that boy to grab for your hand. *shivers* Oh, the youngness of it all. I sorta miss it.

Reply February 10, 2009

Wow friend. I love your writing but seeing as how Seth is like a brother to me it kind of makes me go Ewww!

Reply February 10, 2009

All he did was touch the back of knee.

Reply February 10, 2009

...oh my goodness girl, you can write. Somehow, no wait, I know how I found you. Yeah, it was Him again...he's always directing and guiding me that way. Even when I forget that I've asked for direction, he doesn't , lol! Always when I least expect it...even in blog land. Anyhoo...I'll continue to visit, probably daily :) It's going to be fun getting to know you!

Charity’s last blog post..Good Morning Lord...

Reply February 10, 2009

I remember listening to that Sunday's version of "Wild Horses" endlessly when we were dating (see last post). The Sundays, Ben Harper, Patti Griffin, and Burlap to Casimir wrote that soundtrack that played throughout our own movie.

I never thought we would be here, with three young children, you telling our love story to so many good people. I want to hear you tell more. And I lived it.

Reply February 10, 2009

i just found you, amber, through a link of a link of a link. i read the MLP's last time and tonight, found this. i'm as impressed with seth as i am with you! you have a unique way of finding and connecting words that bring us to that moment. can't wait to read more.

patty’s last blog post.."Off To See The Lizzard"

Reply February 10, 2009

It's all in the way you describe it :)

Jenny from Mommin' It Up!
Reply February 11, 2009

Rawr! Love it! Love the last line.

Jenny from Mommin' It Up!’s last blog post..What do you get when you mix 25 bloggers and one swanky southern restaurant?

Jane Anne
Reply February 11, 2009

Your post brings a slight smile to my face. It reminds me of earlier years and being young and in love with my husband (who is also named Seth). I look forward to reading more of these Tuesday posts.

Jane Anne’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Proud of his Snake Cake

Reply February 11, 2009


Rawr. Gorgeous. God gave you words to paint the world, and you are doing it in amazing ways.

rachel-asouthernfairytale’s last blog post..Keep Believing

Reply October 10, 2009

Oh, that first touch- its amazing. "When Chocolate had no taste" I totally remember it!

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