the voices: a friday funny


ff3I’ve been thinking about my babies (it’s what I do), and I got so tickled the other day when I remembered my first labor experience in the hospital. 

The nurse, after having hooked my abdomen to all kinds of monitors and my arms to IVs and blood pressure cuffs, told me to give her a buzz if I needed anything, and then she left the room. Well, I was uncomfortably in labor, so eventually I did need something. 

I perused all the buttons, probably made my head lift and lower, and then finally pushed the button with the cartoon nurse head on it. 

“Yes?” a voice said.

I looked at Seth and said “Whoa! Where is that voice coming from?” He didn’t know.

The nurse again said, “Yes, ma’am?!”

And I guess I had been so concentrated on everything attached to me that I had a momentary imagination that the nurse had actually wired me with a bug.

I lifted the neck of my ugly hospital gown and spoke down to the monitors: “Am I allowed to have some water?”

Suddenly aware of Seth’s perplexed face and of my own talking down my shirt like a secret agent, we burst out laughing.

For future reference, there is a speaker/receiver near that same nurse button on the bed. It’s not on your tummy.

————-

Do you have a funny memory, or did anything make you giggle this week? Tell us about it in the comments, or copy and paste the code to that cute little button over there in the sidebar and write a whole post about it. Don’t forget to leave us your link in the comments. This got really funny last week. 

amberhaines
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21 Comments

Jo@Mylestones
Reply February 13, 2009

I laughed out loud at the vision of you "talking down your shirt like a secret agent". Understandable, honest mistake, though. That's probably one of the only wires they DON'T attach to your belly when you're in labor, right?

So here I go again, blogging about gaseous emissions. I swear I'm a lot more dignified than it appears from my posts. :-)

Jo@Mylestones’s last blog post..Because he lights me on fire

The Baker
Reply February 13, 2009

i like to talk into my shirt and i have no good reason.

Adventures In Babywearing
Reply February 13, 2009

Oh you are hilarious!

Steph

Kelly
Reply February 13, 2009

I've only been over here a couple of times, and you're already becoming a favorite.

My funny memory (which doesn't go that far back today!): There's a place for love and affection - it's all about getting what you want, isn't it? Yesterday, my husband and I were trying to have a conversation, and our 20-month-old was insisting on participating. When Pete tried to distract her and send her in the other room, she grabbed his face, looked him in the eye very seriously, and then smacked him with a real, very intentional kiss on his lips, effectively reducing him to a puddle of cuddly mush.

Kelly’s last blog post..daddy's little girl

Amber
Reply February 13, 2009

Dear Kelly - Girl Power starts at an early age, huh?

Thank you so much for actually coming back here. It's a wonder.

Guys, if you haven't seen Kelly's blog, please check it out. It's beautiful.

Milton
Reply February 13, 2009

Northwest Arkansas had the BIG NASTY terrible ice storm that displaced thousands just over two weeks ago. Houndstooth clothing actually made t-shirts that say, "I survived the 2009 ice storm." We had gone to Little Rock to escape the madness after eight days without power. Upon return to our warm, electricity powered house complete with a quarter inch layer of ash, wood chips and dirt on EVERYTHING, sensing that I was overwhelmed, my son came up to me, cupped my face and said, "We need a rainbow to come out, don't we Mama."

Little did he know that HE was my little rainbow just for saying that!

Milton’s last blog post..February, The Month Of Love

Amber
Reply February 13, 2009

Oh law. That's the sweetest thing, Milton. I love that little guy.

the domestic fringe
Reply February 13, 2009

Too funny! Hospitals are just filled with too many wires and buttons. It's hard to keep things straight.

I have a funny about too much TV watching on rainy days.
http://thedomesticfringe.wordpress.com/2008/10/12/butt-roots/

-FringeGirl

the domestic fringe’s last blog post..Love Parties

melissa @ the inspired room
Reply February 13, 2009

Laughing my head off. That is totally something I would do. Those hospitals have all sorts of crazy things, why not a secret transmitter in our gown? I've been stalking your blog this morning, loving all your posts. So glad to have met you at Blissdom.

xo

hamster
Reply February 13, 2009

my friend myles just replied to the quote of the day with this awesome piece of verse, which made me laugh aloud:

Last for the kickball,
Last for the prom,
First for the rejects,
Last is the bomb.

i mean that's awesome.

(i have a student that just walked in named Amber Baker. whoa!)

hamster’s last blog post..THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY APPEAR

chickadee
Reply February 13, 2009

that reminds me of the beverly hillbillies' doorbell. hahaha.

chickadee’s last blog post..Weighing in

hamster
Reply February 13, 2009

get it: Amber Baker. get it.

haines. brock. the names.

whoa.

hamster’s last blog post..THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY APPEAR

Amber
Reply February 13, 2009

You're not going to believe this, but I just met a hamster named Amber Baker. This is blowing my mind.

Desha
Reply February 13, 2009

Love the story about the "voices." hilarious!

Desha’s last blog post..Friday Funnies

Kathleen
Reply February 13, 2009

That's so great. In our hospital the speaker/receiver is on the wall. I've never seen anyone be confused by it before!

Kathleen’s last blog post..Technical Difficulties

Sarah
Reply February 13, 2009

Amber, I just posted one on the blog fresh from 2 hours ago.

Sarah’s last blog post..The "Bump" and a Friday Funny

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting
Reply February 13, 2009

haha how cute. Even funnier would've been if someone would've walked in on you talking to your chest lol

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting’s last blog post..The Great Splenda Experiment

Amber
Reply February 13, 2009

Isaac just told me that my breath smells like bacteria.

Now, that's funny and very accurate.

hamster
Reply February 13, 2009

i mean, her name was "Amber Baker." seriously, what are the chances?

i work with a dude that is a major classic literature fan. he's always knee deep into iambs and pentameters. yesterday he came into work with a shirt boasting william shakespeare's mug shot. walking by, feeling a little devilish, i said to him, "hey, is that gilbert gottfried on your shirt?" he was not amused. he say, in a quite offended tone, "no, it's shakespeare." and i said, "damn, i could've sworn it was gottfried."

maybe sometimes i am a jackmule's social hind-end.

this:
http://www.honigcompany.com/press/gottfried/Gilbert%20Gottfried.jpg

hamster’s last blog post..THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY APPEAR

Megan @ Hold it UP to the Light
Reply February 14, 2009

My husband may kill me for this one, but here it is! Love this bloggy fun!

http://www.holdituptothelight.com/2009/02/friday-funnies-modesty.html

Amy
Reply February 15, 2009

I've never heard that story, but everytime we sing I Surrender All in church I think of you!

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