just to say it

Yesterday, a dear friend named Dawna, gave me this gorgeous journal. She and her daughter took a book binding class together, and in prayer she believed she was to give me her first attempt. 


I have to say that it is by far the most beautiful journal I’ve ever had, and I’ve had many many. The mother of pearl button was her great-grandmother’s, and the other two blingy buttons were her grandmother’s. I love a thick paper that sings when ink touches it, and this paper does with its perfect texture. She picked every page, punched every hole, threaded every binding string. 

with buttons

On the inside is a note that she dated April, because it is her favorite month, and in it she called me the sweetest names. I read it this morning and cried that someone would say what she did, because I know the names are true and untrue all at the same time. 

Jesus Christ changes everything.

Post continued in the comments…

About me


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Reply March 18, 2009

I say Jesus changes everything, and it makes me uncomfortable because so much hasn't changed. So much.

I remember clearly not believing it, not because it was only 10 years ago, but because it was just yesterday.

If we cut the canned Christian answers and reactions, what is left? What is true about what we're believing?

I can't explain the condition of my heart before Dawna gave me this gift, before I saw in writing that I am "pure." That is something Jesus makes me but something I often don't live. I believed it again when I read "the word of her testimony."

Do you relate?

Reply March 18, 2009

Good question. Christian answers aside then.

When it comes right down to it, I don't matter. It's not about me, about what I think, about what I feel, and most importantly, how I see myself. I don't feel pure, I don't see myself as pure, and I certainly don't think I'm pure.

The only thing that's really important is how God sees me. He's the judge and jury, not me. His opinion is the one that matters, not mine. When he looks toward me, he sees Christ, not me. The fact that He would look at ugly, nasty, struggling me and see Christ's purity is a pretty good example of grace, isn't it?

So I'm ok when I don't see myself as pure. I'm not. Not yet anyway. It reminds me of my need, and it reminds me of His grace. What's left, you asked? For me, I'm believing that when God looks at me He sees Christ. That's all that is left. After all, that's my only hope.

Andrew’s last blog post..What Kind Of Day Has It Been?

Reply March 18, 2009

Andrew, couldn't have said it better myself! Satan would love to keep us in a place where guilt weighs us down, keeps us from doing great things for Christ. Christ IS all that matters...and God sees HIS sacrifice (that makes us acceptable) when He looks at us!

Isaiah 1:18 "...though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow. though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."

On a side note, Amber...can't help thinking that as you speak the truth, claiming Jesus as the answer to sin's problems in such a powerful way, you'll come under the attack of the one who hates God. Just want you to know, I am praying for you!

Amy’s last blog post..When the kid is quiet…

Reply March 18, 2009

Amber, I can relate very well to what you've written here. There are times when whispers from my past come floating through my mind and I have to squeeze my eyes shut and call on Jesus. Even though He doesn't know what I'm talking about. Because He's forgiven me - and forgotten. But, the enemy of my soul will never forget, and he likes to make me remember that. I'm so thankful for Jesus. For His blood and His righteousness that is mine. Our minds have to be continually renewed so we can forget too.

BlueCastle’s last blog post..Rehabbing Old Accessories

Reply March 18, 2009

Oh, sweet girl, you are so loved and forgiven. And I say that knowing it's hard to believe (I'm feeling very blotchy and stained myself, today), but He who promises is faithful!

Shannon’s last blog post..Book It

Reply March 19, 2009


THANK YOU for all these responses.

Whatever is true ....
think about it.

Reply March 19, 2009

This touched me. Your post, the questions posed, the responses. Beauty - true beauty & truth.

What a treasured gift from your friend. I loved that the mother of pearl button was her grandmothers and I truly know what you mean when you said, "I love a thick paper that sings when ink touches it..."

Peace to you today!

Shanda’s last blog post..The Interview

Heather of the EO
Reply March 19, 2009

Oh how I appreciate this post and the conversation in the comments. More than I can say.

Heather of the EO’s last blog post..I have the same camera as Jodi Picoult (and a giveaway!)

Adventures In Babywearing
Reply March 23, 2009

How precious- the gift and what you wrote.


Adventures In Babywearing’s last blog post..For Example

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