I’m not nuts; I’m just a mother

I do not have a baby anymore. When he squeals, I run into the room shrieking, “Leave the baby alone!” or “Please get off the baby!” but he’s not a baby. He’s a sweet toddling, hard-headed popcorn eater. He says, “I want a hug,” and then he takes one.

Ian is not a baby anymore, and that must be why I did the craziest thing. The other day at the mall, I saw the clumsiest parents. They had a tiny baby and held her like a sock of glass. She was screaming and new. They were all new, just as we were three babies ago.

I had just walked in the door. I heard the baby, and as if caught in a current, unknowing as driftwood and as perky as a milk-gland, I walked toward the family. I became aware of my heart as my arms lifted. Was I going to be the stranger lady who came to sooth this crying child?! Absolutely Not. I caught myself in a moment of crazy, rolled my eyes, and walked away pretending that I forgot something in the store behind me. 

Mothers are crazy people. We are ruined through and through. I hope to goodness I don’t have to birth another baby, but alas – gangly arms and pink scream-faces are magnetizing. 

Hi. My name is Amber. I’ve had three babies. Now, they run around and get all nasty in no time flat. They run away from me into very dangerous places.

Can I please hold your baby?

About me


What I Knew In My Dying Day: a Wild in the Hollow Guest Post by Tara Owens
August 19, 2015
Condemnation on the Molehill
June 08, 2015
Tools for the Highly Sensitive Mother: An Introduction
April 27, 2015
The Uncouth: The Hormonal
May 12, 2014
What Mothers Me
April 01, 2014
Learning How to Eat (and a giveaway of Mom in the Mirror)
May 20, 2013
A Haines Home Companion: Alter
February 22, 2013
A Haines Home Companion: Motherhood and Anti-Depression
February 08, 2013
A Haines Home Companion: On the Trail
January 25, 2013


Lora Lynn
Reply May 19, 2009

Yup. Any time. Only she's not so much pink and scream-y any more. I must have blinked...

Lora Lynn’s last blog post..Back To The Misspent Days Of Our Youth

Allison Nelson
Reply May 19, 2009

This is probably the number 1 reason I'm so excited about baby Elleman. I can hold that sweet little girl any time I want and then give her back when I have had enough.

Reply May 19, 2009

yes you can! then you'll have to have another one because you'll want a fat, squishy little girl just like mine.

melissa’s last blog post..A joyful attitude ~ Tuesdays Unwrapped

Ashley Shaver
Reply May 19, 2009

I'll have another one in September that you are welcome to hold!

Reply May 20, 2009

I know how ya feel!!!

Mary, mom to many

owlhaven’s last blog post..Planting Corn

mandy eoff
Reply May 20, 2009

yes! and i need lots of help with how to hold little boys...

mandy eoff’s last blog post..Celebrating Little Man...

Reply May 20, 2009

Oh my friend....my guess is that this never goes away. My baby IS a baby (4 months) and i look at the new, newbies like you looked at the one in the store. ....longingly. It's just in is...

Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect
Reply May 20, 2009

That's so funny! In all my adult years, I never had the desire to hold babies. When I'd visit friends and family and their new babies, I was always so annoyed when they'd assume I wanted to hold their babies. But now? Now that I've had one of my own? I want to hold the babies. Because my baby is a wiggly, squiggly, wanna-get-down-now toddler. And I can't hold her like a baby anymore.

Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect’s last blog post..There is nothing ironic about show choir.

Reply May 20, 2009

Yeah, we're crazy. But it's the best kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that reaches our arms out to sooth a stranger's cry. But not so crazy we don't catch ourselves before trespassing on a young mother's territory.
My baby, now two, is in on the crazy, as she announces (quite accurately) whenever there is the slightest sound of a baby's whimper: "Baby Cwying, mama, BABY CWING OVER Dere!"

Jo@Mylestones’s last blog post..Heart (wait for it) Warming

Reply May 20, 2009

My baby is 6 and refuses to even kiss me anymore. But, whenever I hear that newborn baby cry in a store, I can promise I almost feel that milk letting-down feeling.

BlueCastle’s last blog post..Favorite Finds

Reply May 20, 2009

as perky as a milk-gland

angela’s last blog post..Must I Still be Learning?

Reply May 20, 2009


Reply May 20, 2009

When I'm a clumsy mama, you can come hold my baby. PLEASE.

nic’s last blog post..Getting Things Running Again

Reply May 21, 2009

Oh, how I remember the days of being "new" and at the mall...sweating profusely because I had no idea what to do except fast walk back to the car and the comfort of home! Good story...it really made me laugh...

Heather of the EO
Reply May 22, 2009

This is so funny. I'm the exact same way. From the running into the room telling Miles to get off "the baby" who is now almost two, to the refraining from grabbing up crying babies. The only difference is that my refraining doesn't always last. Yes, it's true, I've gone as far as to ask to soothe the baby. sigh...

Heather of the EO’s last blog post..Living your best life and all that

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting
Reply May 23, 2009

Yup, but I, too, am crazy. Crazy enough I'd probably do the same, or offer advice on how they should do it (caught myself doing that in the grocery store the other day).

You can hold my baby dude. Y'wanna? :)

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting’s last blog post..A Hospital Kind of Birthday

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