how I eat this book
First I have to believe. That’s always it isn’t it? It isn’t that I wonder if there’s a God. It isn’t hard for me to believe that One was born of a virgin – none of that. Sometimes I just doubt forgiveness. I doubt grace, and in this doubt, I become spiritually anorexic – if I eat, I give my identity / control to Someone who should damn me.
I know I am not alone in this. Some of my friends are starving, too. We dwindle and become disoriented. We nibble lies – forget the Gospel, the cross. So many Christians zombie through.
So when I haven’t eaten in a while, I have to retrain my spiritual stomach to accept it.
Like a baby does, I have to call the milk sweet before I nestle. I relearn to root. I start with the tongue. I have to believe so I hold something in my mouth.
“for the Father Himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I have come forth from the Father.” John 16:27
And I do believe it. I taste it. I taste Word, the original element out of which was all, is all, will be all. I go back to the elemental things if I have to – not to the high position of arguers but to the low position of simplicity. I believe He loves me.
I’m allowed here, and I keep on eating, because it is so sweet.