blogging under pressure: a roots movement
I started this blog so I could show my far-away family some pictures of my babies and let them in on our lives, and in almost 2.5 years, I feel like the RunaMuck has really changed. I love this little spot of webbernet property so much so that I come here often to look at it and read it – just like I always have in my 22 years of keeping some sort of journal. I wonder at pictures and words just like my Daddy does in evening over his property, remembering the dot and tittle of rock and tree root, the many sounds of the creek below the bluff.
I’m feeling such a call to what I came here for in the first place and to what it is I really love to do. We only have this one life, and if I’m going to spend any part of it on this blog, I want it to really reflect my heart, my love of creative writing (story-telling and poetry) and my love of healthy relationships, particularly the one we get to have with the Original Artist.
This blog world has turned out to be such a pressure cooker that when the lid comes off, I’m afraid I’m going be a different side-dish all together. I want the pressure of writing well, but not the pressure of having to measure up in a scene that some suggest has almost outlived its time. I keep trying to come up with a new way to be bigger and better, and all I can come up with is to write in a way that pursues the standard of no human being that is not also simultaneously GOD – lofty, I know.
This is as crazy as saying: Let’s just start living healthily and throw away our scales. It’s as crazy as saying: Let the Spirit guide you. Walk by faith – not by sight.
Am I alone in this? Are you feeling it, too – that pressure? Like I said, I love this scene. I love the people in this scene, and I can keep up, but I’m thinking, though, that I don’t want to – not as much as I want to pursue something other. If a bigger and better blog happens at no cost to my true art, then beautiful – really beautiful.
Three cheers to the bloggers who post so their Mamas can see a first tooth. Three cheers to the bloggers who post poems and never get a comment. I want back that spirit, not that I’ve gained some enormous readership or something. I mean, if I write a poem, please comment, but I’m going to work harder to not care about the numbers. I have a lot to learn from the great master of downward mobility.