I’m going to need a re-do on this one
Today is my ten year anniversary, and instead of feeling all sentimental and gushy, I think I might feel a tad bit Virginia Wolf-ish (not the stones-in-her-pockets part, but the Room of Her Own part).
Want to know why? Yeah, me too. I can’t pinpoint it exactly, except that the perfectionist in me makes me want to flee – not my marriage (I sure love my husband), but my house is wrecked, and my boys need to be disciplined firmly, and I seem to have forgotten how to gather myself except for inside the confines of pantyhose, which is something that I have to wear tonight, and that makes me want to pitch a fit, and sometimes it seems like everybody but the Mama gets to pitch a fit.
This, by the way, is all horrible. Never quote anything from this post! I mean it. Hormones are no excuse for ungodliness and neither is lack of rest and neither are unmet expectations.
In my Bible Study this morning (Esther by Beth Moore), I read that I don’t have to be perfect, and though I already knew that, I think I’ve spent this whole day being mad about it, like I’m ready to accept it for every one else, but when it comes to my work and my children and my house and my marriage …
Sometimes the best I can do just doesn’t feel very good at all, but in 10 years of a marriage that has been mostly dreamy, I can give this advice:
Sometimes marriage feels like warm-earred love, the whispered-to love, cradled and burning, and sometimes marriage feels like a bad game of twenty questions. Marriage is not about feelings (and neither is parenting). Marriage is about huddling in together as closely as you can to the center. And the center is Christ because He is the only perfect one, He even within the confines of people skin, which must be much worse than pantyhose if you’re God.
*Update* Last minute, Seth got us out of going to my panty hose event! Oh oh, not to be conditional, but I think I’m starting to feel it. Yep. There it is. The Gushy is here.