A Rock Home Companion: the Man that Runs this Show

I’ve been in love lately. These boys. My man. They disprove the world. They disprove a few of my generational slants, that men are this or that. My man cooks. He listens to me. He gets me up in the morning, says “get up and have time with God.”

He used to leave a wet towel on my side of the bed. Now he hangs mine as well. He thinks I’m pretty.

My boys start the assent when he walks in the door. They start at his feet and they climb. He changes out of the necktie, and they climb to his lap. They peer over his shoulder. They want to strum with him, his guitar. They would eat from his same fork, take the other half of everything, get under his skin. They want to watch him drive down the driveway. They watch him in the morning as he makes the turn for his office. They ask again when he’ll be home.

They beg him for stories. He has voices.

He leads us to love the world. He filled out adoption paperwork last weekend. We’ve officially started.

He intentions Africa for us, let’s my imagination run wild about it, loves a baby girl with me, one we’ve never seen with our eyes. He sees a future with me and he believes in the irrational with me.

I’ve never seen someone so aware of his depravity while simultaneously shirking shame. He doesn’t care to make a soul uncomfortable. He let’s me buy shirts for the family that say, “147 Million ophans.” He won’t let us not ask hard questions, and he won’t let us ignore.

I brag. I’m not ashamed. He’s so good to me.

UPDATE: this is linked to Tuesdays Unwrapped.

About me


Dear Seth: A Marriage Letter on Your Sobriety and What it Looks Like to Come Clean
October 27, 2015
A Haines Home Companion: A Little Eden
March 13, 2013
Concrete Words: An Abstraction on the Rock
January 28, 2013
the winter feeling
January 12, 2012
Peace Is
June 06, 2011
What Gets Done in the Undone
April 20, 2011
how the dirt inspires
March 14, 2011
Joseph – Defender of the Fatherless
December 15, 2010
the Rock Home Companion: On the Pause and Allowed Mess (A Loud Mess)
June 02, 2010


Reply March 1, 2010

I know a love like this. I can't fathom the depths of it. But it is there. I feel safe, buoyed, propelled to go and do because of my husband's love, unworthy of such a gift.

It's a glimpse of another undeserved love that is higher and wider even.

Natalie Snapp
Reply March 1, 2010

Precious, Amber. What a blessed woman you are. Best of luck as you navigate through the adoption process - God knows the plan for you all and I know there is a beautiful girl waiting for you to be her mommy. I can't wait to "meet" her!

Reply March 1, 2010

girlfriend....i got man like this too. to me , it's kinda unreal ....i have so many friends around me that are falling apart, sad.

Reply March 1, 2010

beautiful. NOTHING {earthly} compares to a man that loves God with his whole heart and right below that, his wife.

congratulations on officially starting this beautiful journey that He planned long ago!

Kelly @ Love Well
Reply March 1, 2010


Ol' Seth
Reply March 1, 2010

So, I'm sheepishly wading into waters when I know that I've had good things said about me that, perhaps, I don't rightly deserve. In any event...

This weekend, while you were gone with your girlfriends, I accidently left a wet towel on your side of the bed. It was a bit of a shameful moment to me. A reversion, of sorts. I suppose that I'm not much good without you around to help me make good.

I'm glad you are home.

Reply March 1, 2010

I love this. I think men get such a bad rap nowadays. There are so many wonderful, godly men around us and they deserve to be honored!

Reply March 1, 2010

I love this. We received a lot of sound advise during our premarital. One was never talk bad about your husband to others. Make the world believe that he's prince charming. My husband isn't of course perfect but he is my prince charming. I agree with Joann that men get bad raps these days. They are made to look stupid by Hollywood and the TV industry. Your boys are going to grow up and treat their wives, and lead their families as wonderfully as Seth does yours.

Brooke McGlothlin
Reply March 1, 2010

Amber I had no idea you were going to adopt. How wonderful! I've often thought I would like to do the same, but it would take a God-sized miracle....in a lot of ways. I'm joining you in prayer for your little girl :-)

And I know a piece of your love with your man...mine cleans the toilets and showers and folds laundry and works shift work and loves my post-9 lb babies body...and on and on and I love him all the more for it :-)

Reply March 1, 2010

Now that's my kind of love song. Play it again, Amber, play it again!

Reply March 1, 2010

My heart is bursting for you and your loves :)
Mine is a good one also... and doesn't get as much credit as he deserves.

Reply March 1, 2010


Reply March 1, 2010

Damn, that's beautiful. I'm very stoked (do people still use that word) that you're looking into adopting an African child. Do you have a particular country in mind? How far are y'all down this road? I ask out of curiosity b/c my wife and I have been considering the same.


Reply March 2, 2010

Sing it, mama!

Reply March 2, 2010

Oh, please link this with Tuesdays Unwrapped today. It is so fitting.

Amy at Never-True Tales
Reply March 2, 2010

What a beautiful tribute to your husband. Mine has disproved my 'men are this and that' theories too, and you've reminded me to thank him for that today.

Reply March 2, 2010

This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing. We are praying about adoption now so this is what I needed to hear today!

Reply March 2, 2010

I have only lurked here but I had to comment today. My husband "disproves" as well and I am blessed by it. I am the mother of 4 adopted internationally including 2 from Ghana, West Africa. It's not a journey for the faint of heart or for a couple not on the same page. What a blessing that you are starting united and your marriage is what it is. I can't wait to follow along.

Reply March 2, 2010

I have a few posts on adoption. I remember through the whole process, I couldn't get enough information. It seems to soothe the heart to read of those on the other side.

Boy Crazy (@claritychaos)
Reply March 2, 2010

I love it, Amber. I love love. Funny how without planning it, you, Emily and I all wrote about our love for our man. Love how that works.

Cheers to love and a good man. :D


Melissa Multitasking Mama
Reply March 2, 2010

My boys are 16, 13, and 12 and still look at their daddy like that. It is a beautiful thing to witness and a blessing for them and their grateful mama!

emily wierenga
Reply March 2, 2010

yes. yes. we are better because of our men. i felt these words so deep...

Ann Voskamp@Holy Experience
Reply March 2, 2010

I count days to a Seth-served meal.

His life is serving up the Christ feast.

Oh, you Haines....

Reply March 2, 2010

I feel the same way about my husband. A solid marriage is one of the biggest blessings that God gives us. A foundation built on God cannot falter under the weight of human error, human tragedy, human failure. My marriage is sacred, and in being sacred, it carries the weight of our family, of this tribe we've created. I can't tell you how beautiful this post was, how inspiring and touching it was for me. Thanks for writing a post that highlights why we should give thanks and praise for the men in our lives. And best of luck with your adoption. I will be praying for you, in hopes of a fast, easy, and joyful adoption process. What a wonderful gift you'll be giving a child that may not even understand what a gift is.

Reply March 2, 2010

I would brag, too!

Ann Kroeker
Reply March 3, 2010

He's a keeper, Amber. It's important for people to know that good men who yield humbly to Christ are indeed out there, loving and leading their families.

Reply March 9, 2010

so sweet amber and seth :)
ya'll are good people, the best!

Reply March 12, 2010

You inspired this post. Thanks for helping me be a better wife. A better writer (just by inspiring me to write...I'm not a writer!). Your ministry is changing the world.

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