My boys find a project box with glow-in-the-dark inks. I work on my couch, computer in lap, hoping ibuprofen kicks in.

They call me and I hear it. They push the screen away, grab my hands, and I obey.

In the bathroom, they close the door. The three of them there with the lights out, the big boys with their paper and glowing ink.

And I can’t see them anymore – all pitch dark. The four of us, and I shrink as they grow equals in infinity of black. I can’t feel myself, can’t see, could be three feet tall on the other side of the moon. Who knows how big the dark can get? Who cares?

The glowing yellow moved like a shooting star. Galaxies. Children laughing, and I was there suddenly

in Alabama, outside after sundown – sister too, laughing, clean-faced, the big unafraid dark.

Remember when you didn’t know what sex was, except that it maybe had to do with the tea ceremony in Karate Kid 2?  So much of our heart is always child, the innocence here – I’ll remember my boys this way – roarous laughter, lights in the dark.

photo credit
About me


Reply December 12, 2011

oh, this is definitely a post to keep and read again when they are hairy, smelly teens with low voices....

and i feel the very same in the pitch black

Reply December 12, 2011

I love your description of how you felt in the pitch dark.

And the boys... oh, the boys. 'Roarous laughter, lights in the dark.' I love it.

Fawn {Happy Wives Club}
Reply December 13, 2011

It is always such a joy to spend time with my 7-year old niece because she epitomizes the innocence of childhood. She sees the good in everything. She reminds others how kindness begets kindness. She can find the humor in all things and the joy in the little things in life. Oh, to be a child again and to bottle that up to carry with us into our adult years. When I am with her I am always reminded of how God sees us and it beckons me to be my highest self.

Teri @ StumblingAroundInTheLight
Reply December 13, 2011

Thanks for the 'glowing' reminder - to soak in these moments with my kids. The still-laughing, great-big-boy-man...the noisy, wrestling little boys...all the sisters between...and the cuddling baby boy still in my arms. At every stage, such a gift to relish!

diana trautwein
Reply December 14, 2011

Oh, Amber - LOVE this. Enjoy those roarous boys, sweetheart. GREAT picture, too. Merry Christmas!

Megan at SortaCrunchy
Reply December 14, 2011

The tea ceremony in Karate Kid II. That made me smile. It was all gentleness and mystery and quiet discretion then, wasn't it?

Piercing words on darkness, the bigness of it all.

Reply December 14, 2011

" . . . could be three feet tall on the other side of the moon . . ." Gaaaahhhhh!!!! I love your kind of creative!!!

sara @ it's good to be queen
Reply December 14, 2011

that's the good stuff, right there.

Kelly Sauer
Reply December 15, 2011

Amber, do we even exist within the dark? We all disappear and we are nothing but what we are...

This is wonderful. Oh the memories...

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *