For the holiday, we loaded up and drove to Alabama and I got to be with my siblings and watch Seth bond with my daddy. We have hours of driving under our belts, especially after traveling in ice back to Arkansas. It takes us days to pack, and by the time we’ve locked the doors, turned down the thermostat, and buckled our belts, we’re ready to be still and together. Seth and I talked long about what we want for our lives. We made lists, discussed giving and house plans and budget. We never stop concerning ourselves with how to raise four boys.

The New Year feels like a cold, clean slate. We’re finally back in the rock house after 9 days of nonstop going. I walked through a thin layer of snow in my moccasins last night. I didn’t wear a coat. It’s 2013, and my lungs are cold, my house booms with loud happiest boys, and the world into which I’m sending them is broken.

Everyone unstrings Christmas lights and looks forward to Spring, and I have never had more JOY in my life. Didn’t this Christmas point to Resurrection more than ever?

I can’t stop thinking of it, how Christ taught us to pray: on earth as it is in Heaven.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” It’s so much simpler than my control-freak self wants to list it.

What would it look like to pray Kingdom Come every day this year, to cry not clinging to broken things with my tears, but to cry in expectation for resurrection and reconciliation? What comes in 2013 is Hope and Joy and “all these things added.”

My One Word this year is Kingdom. Winter is cranking, and wisdom says to prepare food and wood in case power goes out how it does around here. Wisdom says fear is no part. We pray Kingdom come, and we’re still in itchy sweaters trying to get stupid songs out of our heads and wondering whether we should have tacos or spaghetti.

Boys file in cold and snuggle under throws on the morning couch. They want to play Angry Birds already, how we all cling to the screens. Kingdom Come like a pair of glasses, like a shift in thinking, like a thief in night.

I’m ready to be awake.

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