Share the Beauty :: on traveling, speaking, and carrying on
In my heart, I’m a world-traveller, but the truth is that I have never wanted to go to Haiti, not in all my live-long days. It sounds like too much harsh for such a small place, and instead I’m drawn to Europe, Latin America and anywhere in Africa, my kind of history and spice. Maybe I’ve feared I couldn’t bear Haiti. I’m not sure.
It’s been planned for a while now that I’ll get to visit Ethiopia one day, like Seth. Sometimes I listen to youtube videos just to feel her music. I still have a box of clothes for the daughter we were to adopt from there. No joking, I have her flag tattooed on my back. But Haiti? Others would love Haiti.
Maybe I shouldn’t have become friends with the Livesays, who midwife for her. Maybe I shouldn’t read their blog like it’s a lifeline for my soul. Maybe years ago we shouldn’t have become friends with Marlow. None of it was on purpose. It’s just how life has rolled into us. We have an ornament for Haiti now for our Christmas tree. I was softening, daggumit, and didn’t know it.
When Help One Now asked me to go – to HAITI – I said I would pray about it, but it only took a minute. I remember walking a load of clothes to my bedroom, and I cried the entire way down. Why has my heart been hard to Haiti? Why have I always greeted her with a No? Be careful; desire can come on so strong. Not only am I going to Haiti, but I am also going to love it. I keep having the thought that I will learn of creation there, art and beauty. These thoughts are all opposite of what I used to think about Haiti, so I could remain hard.
I believe that prophets are the great re-imaginers. Maybe I think we are all to earnestly desire prophecy above all the other gifts.
Going along are Sarah Markley, Sarah Bessey, Erika Morrison, Laura Tremaine, and Krista Smith. I’ve never met Krista, but I’ve stalked her enough now to know that I’ll love her. She’s an artist, which I think is the common thread between all 6 of us. Those other girls there? They are some of the rarest friends I’ve ever had. I’m jaw-dropped that we’ll get to let Haiti into our stories together. I’m going on my knees a little, floored that Haiti would let me into her story, too.
So this is me telling you that I’m going places I never thought I would go, and I hope I can tell about it in a way that honors you and them. I hope you will love Haiti with me. That is my only goal, that I/we would come to love her and maybe soften up the old, hard places.
I can’t even believe that I’m telling you this, but I’m going a few other places, too, and one is going to make me feel especially exposed. When I get asked to speak somewhere, my heart starts pounding, and as I work on it, I feel so alive I might catch fire.
This Fall I get to speak at Allume on writing. I am so excited about it and hope you’ll come. Also I hope you’ll pray for me, because I’m already a bit scaredy.
Also, don’t forget to write a Marriage Letter, if it suits your fancy. The prompt is What Makes You Come Alive.